W^Mmm ~^f %.- ^"W ^ \^^ 1 .11^ Vx: I- ^ilf^ \ ,^- •^l- "^ > ^ ^'y\C .w(^ . -.SJlf" W ... ^' BOSTON PUBLIC LIBRT^RY Oyj iU s '-cn}->-^j^ u-'^x.aA^ -c-^C^ /) J f^yxA^oOuL^o^ i <2^' i ALICE'S ADVENTURES IN WONDERLAND. ALICE'S ADVENTURES IN WONDERLAND. BY LEWIS CARROLL. WITH FORTY-TWO ILLUS2 RATIONS BY JOHN TENNIEL. NEW EDITION NEW YORK MACMILLAN & CO 1888. PZ7- New York • J. J. Little & Co., Printers. 10 to 20 Astor Place. CONTENT Sc CHAPTER I. Down the Rabbit-Hole . „ ., II. Thi: Pool of Tears . . o . . , m. A Caucus-Race and a Long Tale lY. The Rabbit sends in a Little Bill Y. Advice from a Caterpillar . , VI. Pia AND Pepper , . . o . . o , VII. A Mad Tea-Party ....,., VTII. The Queen's Croquet-Ground , . IX. The Mock Turtle's Story o . . . X. The Lobster Quadrille . . . . . XI. Who Stole the Tarts? . . . . . XH. Alice's Evidence Page . 1 15 . 29 41 . 59 . 76 . 95 112 130 147 162 176 All in tlie golden afternoon Full leisurely we glide , For both our oars, with little skill. By little arms are plied, While little hands make vain pretence Our \\ mderino^s to c-uideo Ah, cruel Three ! In such an hour, Beneath such dreamy weather, To beg a tale, of breath too weak To stir the tiniest feather ! Yet what can one poor voice avail Against three tongues together? Imperious Prima flashes forth Her edict to "begin it" — In gentler tone Secunda hopes "There will be nonsense _n it" While Tertia interrupts the talc Not more than once a minute. Anon, to sudden silence won. In fancy they pursue The dream-child movms^ throus^h a land Of wonders wild and new, In friendly chat with bird or beast — And half believe it true. And ever, as the story drained The wells of fancy dry, And faintly strove that weary one To put the subject by, " The rest next time — " " It is next time I The happy voices cry. Thus o:rew the tale of Wonderland : Thus slowly, one by one, Its quaint events were hammered out^ And now the tale is done. And home we steer, a merry crew, Beneath the setting sun. Alice ! a childish story take, And with a gentle hand Lay it where Childhood's dreams are twined In Memory's mystic band, Like pilgrim's withered wreath of flowers Plucked in a far-off land. CHAPTEE I. DOWN THE RABBIT-HOLE. Alice was beginning to get very tired of sitting by her sister on the bank, and of having nothing to do : once or twice she had peeped into the book her sister was reading, but it had no pictures or conversations in it^ ^"^and what is % DOWN THE the use of a book," thought Ahce, ^'without pictures or conversations ? " So she was considering in her own mind, (as well as she could, for the hot day made her feel very sleepy and stupid,) whether the pleasure of making a daisy - chain would be worth the trouble of getting up and picking the daisies, when suddenly a white rabbit with pink eyes ran close by her. There was nothing so very remarkable in that; nor did Alice think it so very much out of the way to hear the Rabbit say to itself, "Oh dear! Oh dear! I shall be too late!" (when she thought it over afterwards, it oc- curred to her that she ought to have wondered at this, but at the time it all seemed quite natural) ; but when the Rabbit actually took a watch out of its waistcoat-pocket, and looked at it, and then hurried on, Alice started to her feet, for it flashed across her mind that she had never before seen a rabbit with either a waist- coat-pocket or a watch to take out of it, and, RABBIT-HOLE. . 3 burning with curiosity, she ran across the field after it, and was just in time to see it pop down a large rabbit-hole under the hedge. In another moment down went Ahce after itj never once considering how in the world she was to get out again. The rabbit-hole went straight on like a tun- nel for some way, and then dipped suddenly down, so suddenly that Alice had not a moment to think about stopping herself before sue found herself falling down what seemed to be a very deep well. Either the well was very deep, or she fell very slowly, for she had plenty of time as she went down to look about her, and to wonder what was going to happen next. First, she tried to look down and make out what she was com- ing to, but it was too dark to see anything : then she looked at the sides of the well, and noticed that they were filled with cupboards and bookshelves : here and there she saw maps and pictures hung upon pegs. She took down 4 DOWN THE a jar from one of the shelves as she passed; it was labelled " OEAIS^GE MAEMALADE," but to her great disappointment it was empty: she did not like to drop the jar for fear of killing somebody underneath, so managed to put it into one of the cupboards as she fell past it. " Well ! " thought Alice to herself, " after such a fill as this, I shall think nothing of tumbling down stairs! How brave they'll all think me at home! Why, I wouldn't say anything about it, even if I fell off the top of the house ! " (Which was very likely true.) Down, down, down. Would the fall never come to an end? "I wonder how many milee I've fallen by this time ? " she said aloud. '^ I must be getting somewhere near the centre of the earth. Let me see : that Avould be four thousand miles down, I think — " (for, you see. Alice had learnt several things of this sort in her lessons in the schoolroom, and though this was not a very good opportunity for showing off her knowledge, as there was no one to listen to RABBIT-HOLE. her, still it was good practice to say it over) ^^ — y^Sj tliat's about the right distance — - but then I wonder what Latitude or Longitude I've got to ? '' (Alice had not the slightest idea what Latitude was, or Longitude either, but she thought they were nice grand words to say,) Presently she began again. " I wondei* if I shall fall right tlirougli the earth! How funny it'll seem to come out among the people that walk with their heads downwards! The Anti- pathies, I think — " (she w^as rather glad there was no one listening this time, as it didn't sound at all the right word) " — but I shall have to ask them what the name of the country is, you know. Please, Ma'am, is this New Zealand or Australia ? " (and she tried to curtsy as she spoke — fancy curtsying as you're falling through the air! Do you think you could man- age it ?) " And what an ignorant little girl she'll think me for asking! No, it'll never do to ask: perhaps I shall see it written up some- where." 6 DOWN THE Down, down, down. There was nothing else to do, so Alice soon began talking again. " Dinah'll miss me very much to-night, I should think I " (Dinah w^as the cat.) " I hope they'll remember her saucer of milk at tea-time. Dinah, my dear! I wish you wei*e down here with me ! There are no mice in the air, I'm afraid, but you might catch a bat, and that's very like a mouse, you know. But do cats eat bats, I wonder ? " And here Alice began to get rather sleepy, and went on saying to herself, in a dreamy sort of way, "Do cats eat bats? Do cats eat bats?" and sometimes, " Do bats eat cats ? " for, you see, as she couldn't answer either question, it didn't much matter which way she put it. She felt that she was dozing off, and had just begun to dream that she was walking hand in hand mth Dinah, and was saying to her very ear- nestly, "]N^ow, Dinah, tell me the truth: did you ever eat a bat ? " w hen suddenly, thump ! thump ! down she came upon a heap of sticks and dry leaves, and the fall was over. RABBIT-HOLE. Alice was not a bit hurt, and she jumped up on to her feet in a moment: she looked up, but it was all dark overhead; before her was an- other long passage, and the White Rabbit was still in sight, hurrying down it. There was not a moment to be lost: away went Alice like the wind, and was just in time to hear it say, as it turned a corner, ^^ Oh my ears and whiskers, how late it's getting ! " She was close behind it when she turned the corner, but the Rabbit was no longer to be seen: she found herself in a long, low hall, which was lit up by a row^ of lamps hanging from the roof. There Avere doors all round the hall, but they were all locked, and when Alice had been all the way down one side and up the other, trying every door, she walked sadly down the middle, wondering how she was ever to get out again. Suddenly she came upon a little three-legged table, all made of solid glass; there was nothing on it but a tiny golden key, and Alice's first idea was that this might belong to one of the DOWN THE doors of the hall ; but alas ! either the locks were too large, or the key was too small, but at auy rate it would not open any of themo However, on the second time round, she came upon a low curtain she had not noticed be- fore, and be- hind it was a little door fifteen high about inches she tried the little golden key in the lock, and to her great delight it fitted ! Alice opened the door and found that it led into a small passage, not much larger than a rat-hole: she knelt down and looked along the passage into the loveliest garden you ever saWo How she longed to get out of that dark hall, and wander about among those beds of bright KABBIT-HOLE. 9 flowers and those cool fountains, but she could not even get her head through the doorway; "and even if my head would go through," thought poor Alice, " it would be of very little use without my shouldei's. Oh, how I wish I could shut up like a telescope ! I think I could, if I only knew how to begin." For, yon see, so many out-of-the-way things had happened lately that Alice had begun to think that very few things indeed were really impossible. There seemed to be no use in Avaiting by the little door, so she went back to the table, half hoping she might find another key on it, or at any rate a book of rules for shutting people up like telescopes : this time she found a little bottle on it, (" which certainly was not here before," said Alice,) and tied round the neck of the bottle was a paper label Avith the words "DEINK ME" beautifully printed on :t in large letters. It was all very well to say " Drink me," but the v/ise little Alice was not going to do that 10 DOWN THE in a hurry : ^^ no, I'll look first," she said, " and see Avh ether it's marked ^ poison^ or not:" for she had read several nice little stories about children who had got burnt, and eaten up by wild beasts, and other unpleasant things, all because they would not remem- ber the simple rales their friends had taught them, such as, that a red-hot poker will burn you if you hold it too long; and that if j^ou cut your finger ^*ery deeply with a knife, it usually bleeds ; and she had never forgotten that, if you drink much from a bottle marked "poison," it is almost certain to dis- agree with you, sooner or later. However, this bottle was not marked " poison/' RABBIT-HOLE. 11 SO Alice ventured to taste it, and finding it very nice, (it had, in fact, a sort of mixed flavor of cherry-tart, custard, pine-apple, roast turkey, to&y, and hot buttered toast,) she very soon finished it ofi. ^ * * * « * * * * 4f * " "What a curious feeling ! " said Alice, ^^ I must be shutting up like a telescope." And so it was indeed: she was now only ten inches high, and her face brightened up at the thought that she was now the right size for going through the little door into that lovely garden. First, however, she waited for a few minutes to see if she was going to shrink any further : she felt a little nervous about this, "for it might end, you know," said Alice to herself, " in my going out altogether, like a candle. I wonder what I should be like then?" And she tried to fancy what the flame of a candle looks like after the candle is blown out^ 12 iDOWN THE for she could not remember ever having seen such a thing-. After a while, finding that nothing more happened, she decided on going into the garden at once, but, alas for poor Alice ! when she got to the door, she found she had forgotten the little golden key, and when she went back to the table for it, she found she could not possibly reach it: she could see it quite plainly through the glass, and she tried her best to climb up one of the legs of the table, but it was too slippery, and when she had tired herself out with trying, the poor little thing sat down and cried. " Come, there's no use in crying like that!" said Alice to herself, rather sharply, "I advise you to leave off this minute ! " She generally gave herself very good advice, (though she very seldom followed it,) and sometimes she scolded herself so severely as to bring tears into her eyes, and once she remembered trying to box her own ears for having cheated herself RABBIT-HOLE. 13 in a game of croquet she was playing against herself, for this curious child was very fond of pretending to be two people. " But it's no use now," thought poor Alice, " to pretend to be two people! Why, there's hardly enough of me left to make one respectable person!" Soon her eye fell on a little glass box that was lying under the table: she opened it, and found in it a very small cake, on which the Avords " EAT ME " were Deaatifully marked in currants. "Well, I'll eat it," said Alice, "and if it makes me grow larger, I can reach the key; and if it makes me grow smaller, I can creep under the door; so either way I'll get into the garden, and I don't care which happens ! " She ate a little bit, and said anxiously to herself " Which way? Which way? " holding her hand on the top of her head to feel which way it was growing, and she was quite surprised to find that she remained the same size: to be sure, this is what generally happens when one eats cake, but Alice had got so much into the 14 DOWN THE RABBIT-HOLE. way of expecting nothing but out-of-the-wav things to happen, that it seemed quite dull and stupid for life to go on in the common way. So she set to work, and very soon finished off the cake. ^ * * * * * * ^ * * n- CHAPTEE II. THE POOL OF TEARS. ^^ Curiouser and cu- riouser! " cried Alice (she was so much sur- prised, that for the moment she quite for- got how to speak good Enghsh) ; ^^ now I'm opening out hke the largest telescope that ever w^as ! Good-bye, feet ! " (for when she looked down at her feet, they seemed to be almost out of sight, they were getting so far off) ^^ Oh, my poor little feet, I wonder 16 THE POOL who will put on your shoes and stocldngs for you now, dears? I'm sure I shan't be able! 1 shall be a great deal too. flir off to trouble my= self about you : you must manage the best way you can; — but I must be kmd to them," thought Alice, " or perhaps they won't walk the way I want to go ! Let me see : I'll give them a new pair of boots every Christmas." And she went on planning to herself how she would manage it. " They must go by the car- rier," she thought; "and how funny it'll seem, sending presents to one's own feet ! And how odd the directions will look! Alice's Right Foot^ Esq.^ Hearthrug^ near the Fender, Qtvith Alice's love.^ Oh dear, what nonsense I'm talking!" Just at this moment her head struck against the roof of the hall: in fact she was now rather more than nine feet high, and she at once took up the little golden key and hurried off to the garden door. OF TEARS. 17 Poor Alice ! It was as much as she could do, lying down on one side, to look through into the garden with one eye; but to get through was more hopeless than ever: she sat down and began to cry again. " You ought to be ashamed of yourself/^ said Alice, ^^ a great girl like you," (she might well say this,) " to go on crying in this way ! Stop this moment, I tell you! " But she went on all the same, shedding gallons of tears, until there Avas a large pool all round her, about four inches deep and reaching half down the hall. After a time she heard a little pattering of feet in the distance, and she hastily dried her eyes to see what Avas coming. It Avas the White Rabbit returning, splendidly dressed, w^ith a pair of Avdiite kid gloA^es in one hand and a large fan in the other : he came trotting along in a great huriy, muttering to himself as he came^ ^"^ Oh ! the Duchess, the Duchess ! Oh ! won't she be saA^age if I've kept her Avaiting ! " Alice felt so desperate that she was ready to ask help 18 THE POOL of any one; so, when the Kabbit came near her, she began, in a low, timid voice, " If you please, sir " The Rabbit started violently, dropped the white kid gloves and the fan, and skui'ried away into the darkness as hard as he could go. OF TEARS. 19 Alice took up the fan and gloves, and, as the hall was very hot, she kept fanning herself all the time she went on talking: "Dear, dear! How queer everything is to-day! And yester° day things went on just as usual. I wonder if I've been changed in the night? Let me think: was I the same when I got up this morning? I almost think I can remember feeling a little different. But if I'm not the same, the next question is, Who in the world am I? Ah, that^s the great puzzle ! " And she began thinking over all the children she knew, that were of the same age as herself, to see if she could have been changed for any of them. "I'm sure I'm not Ada,*' she said, "for her hair goes in such long ringlets, and mine doesn't go in ringlets at all; and I'm sure I can't be Mabel, for I know all sorts of things, and she, oh! she knows such a very little! Besides, she's she, and Fm I, and — oh dear, how puzzling it all is! I'll try if I know all the things I used to know. Let me see: four times five is twelve, 20 THE POOL and four times six is thirteen, and four times seven is — oh dear ! I shall never get to twenty at that rate! However, the Multiplication Table don't signify: let's try Geography. London is the capital of Paris, and Paris is the ca2)ital of Rome, and Rome — no, tliafs all wrong, Pm certain! I must have been changed for Mabel! I'll try and say ^ How doth the little — ' " and she crossed her hands on her lap, as if she were saying lessons, and began to repeat it, but her voice sounded hoarse and strange, and the words did not come the same as they used to do : — ^Ho2v d'jth the little crocodile Improve his shining tail, And pour the ^voters of the Nile On every golden scale ! How cheerfully he seems to grin, How neatly spreads his claws, And welcomes little fishes in With gently smiling jaws I " OF TEARS. 21 " I'm sure those are not the right words," saiu poor Alice, and her eyes filled with tears again as she went on, " I must be Mabel after all, and I shall have to go and live in that poky little house, and have next to no toys to play with, and oh! ever so many lessons to learn! ]^o, IVe made up my mind about it: if I'm Mabel, I'll stay down here! It'll be no use their putting their heads down and saying, ^Come np again, dear!' I shall only look up and say, ^Who am I, then? Tell me that first, and then, if I like being that person, I'll come np: if not, I'll stay down here till I'm some- body else' — but, oh dear!" cried Alice with a sudden burst of tears, "I do wish they ivould pnt their heads down! I am so very tired of being all alone here!" As sh3 said this, she looked down at her hands, and was surprised to see that she had put on one of the Rabbit's little white kid gloves while she was talking. " How ccm I have done that ^ " she thought. " I must be growing small 22 THE FOOi^ again." She got up and went to the table to measure herself by it, and found that, as nearly as she could guess, she was now about two feet high, and was going on shrinking rapidly: she soon found out that the cause of this was the fan she was holding, and she dropped it hastily, just in time to save herself from shrinking away altogether. " That was a narrow escape ! " said Alice, a good deal frightened at the sudden change, but very glad to find herself still in existence; " and now for the garden ! " and she ran with all speed back to the little door: but alas! the little door was shut again, and the little golden key was lying on the glass table as before, " and things are woi-se than ever," thought the poor child, ^^for I never was so small as this before, never ! And I declare it's too bad, that it is ! " As she said these words her foot slijDped, and in another moment, splash! she was up to her chin in salt water. Her first idea was that she had somehow fallen into the sea, " and in OF TEARS. that case I can go back by railway," she said ',0 herself. (x\lice had been to the seaside once in her hfe, and had come to the general con- clnsion, that wherever you go to on the English coast you find a number of bathing machines in the sea, some children digging in the sand with wooden spades, then a row of lodging houses, and behind them a railwaj^ station.) However she soon made out that she was in the pool of tears which she had wept when she was nine feet high. " I Avish I hadn't cried so much ! " said Alice, as she swam about, trying to find her way out. 24 THE POOL " I shall be punished for it now, I suppose, by being drowned in my own tears ! That icill be a queer thing, to be sure ! However, everything is queer to-da3\" Just then she heard something splashing about in the pool a little way oiF, and she swam nearer to make out what it was : at first she thought it must be a walrus or hippopotamus, but then she remembered how small she was now, and she soon made out that it was only a mouse, that had slipped in like herself. "Would it be of any use, now," thought Alice, " to speak to this mouse ? Everything is so out-of-the-way down here, that I should think very likely it can talk: at any rate there's no harm in trying." So she began: " O Mouse, do you know the way out of this pool? I am very tired of swimming about here, O Mouse ! " (Alice thought this must be the right way of speaking to a mouse: she had never done such a thing before, but she remembered having seen in her brother's Latin Grammar, "A mouse — - OF TEARS. 25 of a mouse — to a mouse — a mouse — O mouse ! ") The Mouse looked at her rather inquisitively, and seemed to her to wink with one of its little eyes, but it said nothing. " Perhaps it doesn't understand English," thought Alice ; " I daresay it's a French mouse, come over with William the Conqueror." (For, with all her knowledge of history, Alice had no very clear notion how long ago anything liad happened.) So she began again: " Ou est ma chatte?" which was the first sentence in her French lesson-book. The Mouse gave a sudden leap out of the water, and seemed to quiver all over with fright. " Oh, I beg your pardon ! " cried Alice hastily, afraid that she had hurt the poor animal's feelings " I quite forgot you didn't like cats." " ]N'ot like cats ! " cried the Mouse, in a shrill, passionate voice. " Would you like cats if you were me?" " Well, perhaps not," said Alice in a sooth- ing tone: ^^ don't be angry about it. And jqX 26 THE POOL I wish I could show you our cat Dinah : I think you'd take a fancy to cats if you could only see her. She is such a dear quiet thing,'' Alice went on, half to herself, as she swam lazily about in the pool, " and she sits purring so nicely by the fire, licking her paws and wash- ing her face — and she is such a nice soft thing to nurse — and she's such a capital one for catch- ing mice oh, I beg your pardon ! " cried Alice again, for this time the Mouse was bristling all over, and she felt certain it must be really OF TEARS. 27 offended. "We won't talk about her any more if yoa'd rather not." ""We, indeed!" cried the Mouse, who was trembhng down to the end of his tail. "As if / would talk on such a subject! Our family always hated cats: nasty, low, vulgar things! Don't let me hear the name again ! " " I won't indeed ! " said Alice, in a great hurry to change the subject of conversation. "Are you — are you fond — of — of dogs?" The mouse did not answer, so Alice went on eagerly : "There is such a nice little dog near our house I should like to show you! A little bright- eyed terrier, you know, with oh! such long curly brown hair! And it'll fetch things when you throw them, and it'll sit up and beg for its dinner, and all soi'ts of things — I can't re- member half of them — and it belongs to a farmer, you know, and he says it's so useful, it's worth a hundred pounds! He says it kills all the rats and — oh dear ! " cried Alice in a sorrowful tone. "I'm afraid I've offended it 28 THE POOL OF TEARS. again!" For the Mouse was swimming away from her as hard as it conld go, and making quite a connnotion in the pool as it w^ent. So she called softly after it: "Monse dear! Do come back again, and we won't talk about cats or dogs either, if you don't like them!" When the Mouse heard this, it turned round and swam slowly back to her: its face was quite pale (with passion, Alice thought), and it said in a low, trembling voice, "Let us get to the shore, and then I'll tell you my history, and you'll understand why it is I hate cats and dogs," It was high time to go, for the pool was getting quite crowded with the birds and ani- mals that had fallen into it: there was a Duck and a Dodo, a Lory and an Eaglet, and several other curious creatures. Alice led the way, and the whole party swam to the shore. CHAPTER III. A CAUCUS-RACE AKD A LONG TALE. They were indeed a queer-looking party that assembled on the bank — -the birds with draggled feathers, the animals with their fur clinging close to them, and all dripping wet, cross, and uncom- fortable. The first question of course was, how to get dry again: they had a consultation about this, 30 A CAUCUS-RACE and after a few minutes it seemed quite natural to Alice to find herself talking familiarly with them, as if she had known them all her life. Indeed, she had quite a long argument with the Lory, who at last turned sulky, and would only say, " I am older than you, and must know better; " and this Alice would not allow, with- out knowing how old it was, and as the Lory positively refused to tell its age, there was no more to be said. At last the Mouse, who seemed to be a per- son of some authority among them, called out, ^•^Sit down, all of you, and listen to me! Fll soon make you dry enough ! " They all sat down at once, in a large ring, with the Mouse in the middle. Alice kept her eyes anxiously fixed on it, for she felt sure she would catch a bad cold if she did not get dry very soon. "Ahem!" said the Mouse with an important air, "are you all ready? This is the driest thing I know. Silence all round, if you please ! ^William the Conqueror, whose cause was AND A LONG TALE. 3i favoured by the pope, was soon submitted to by the English, who wanted leaders, and had been of late much accustomed to usurpation and conquest. Edwin and Morcar, the earls of Mer« eia and ^orthumbria — '" " Ugh ! " said the Lory, with a shiver. "I beg your pardon? " said the Mouse, frown- ing, but very politely: " Did you speak? " "KotI!" said the Lory, hastily. "I thought you did," said the Mouse, — ^^ I proceed. ^ Edwin and Morcar, the earls of Mer- cia and ]N^orthumbria, declared for him; and even Stigand, the patriotic archbishop of Can- terbury, found it advisable — ' " "Found what?'' said the Duck. "Found ^Y," the Mouse replied rather crossly: "of course you know what 4t' means." "I know what ^it' means well enough when J find a thing," said the Duck: "it's generally a frog or a worm. The question is, what did the archbishop find?" The Mouse did not notice this question, but i32 A CAUCUS-RACE hurriedly went on, " ^ — found it advisable to go with Edgar Atheling to meet William and offer him tlie crown. William's conduct at first was modei-ate. But the insolence of his ^I^ormans — ' How are you getting on now, my dear?" it con- tinued, turning to Alice as it spoke. " As wet as ever," said Alice in a melancholy tone : " it doesn't seem to dry me at all." " In that case," said the Dodo solemnly, rising to its feet, ^^ I move that the meeting adjourn, for the immediate adoption of more energetic remedies — " "Speak English!" said the Eaglet. "I don't know the meaning of half those long words, and what's more, I don't believe you do either ! " And the Eaglet bent down its head to hide a smile: some of the other birds tittered audibly. " What I was going to say," said the Dodo in an offended tone, "was, that the best thing to get us dry would be a Caucus-race." "What is a Caucus-race?" said Alice; not that she much wanted to know, but the Dode AND A LONG TALE. 33 had paused as if it thought that somebody ought to speak, and no one else seemed inclined to say anything. "Why," said the Dodo, "the best way to explain it is to do it." (And as you might like to try the thing yourself, some winter day, I will tell you how the Dodo managed it.) First it marked out a race-course, in a sort of circle, ("the exact shape doesn't matter," it said,) and then all the party were placed along the course, here and there. There was no " One, two, three, and away," but they began running when they liked, and left off when they liked, so that it was not easy to know when the race was over. However, when they had been running half-an-hour or so, and were quite dry again, the Dodo suddenly called out, " The race is over ! " and they all crowded round it, panting, and ask- ing, " But who has won? " This question the Dodo could not answer without a great deal of thought, and it sat for a long time with one finger pressed upon its 3 34 A CAUCUS-RACE forehead, (the position in which you usually see Shakespeare, in the pictures of him,) while the rest waited in silence. At last the Dodo said, " Everyhody has won, and all must have prizes." " But w4io is to give the prizes ? " quite a chorus of voices asked. "Why, slie^ of course," said the Dodo, point- ing to Alice with one finger; and the whole party at once ci-owded round her, calling out in a confused w^ay, " Prizes ! Prizes ! " Alice had no idea what to do, and in despair- she put her hand into her pocket, and pulled out a box of comfits, (luckily the salt water had not got into it,) and handed them round as prizes. There was exactly one a-piece, all round. " But she must have a prize herself, you know," said the Mouse. " Of course," the Dodo replied very gravely. ^^What else have you got in your pocket?" he went on, turning to Alice. " Only a thimble," said Alice sadly. "Hand it over here," said the Dodoo AND A LONG TALE. 85 Then they all crowded round her once more, while the Dodo solemnly presented the thimble, saying, " We beg your acceptance of this elegant thimble ; " and, when it had finished this short speech, they all cheered. 36 A CAUCUS-RACE Alice thought th3 whole thing very absurd, but they all looked so grave that she did not dare to laugh, and as she could not think of anything to say, she simply bowed, and took the thimble, looking as solemn as she could. The next thing was to eat the comfits: this caused some noise and confusion, as the large birds complained that they could not taste theirs, and the small ones choked and had to be patted on the back. However it was over at last, and they sat down again in a ring, and begged the Mouse to tell them something more. "You promised to tell me your history, you know," said Alice, " and why it is you hate — C and D," she added in a whisper, half afraid that it would be offended again. " Mine is a long and a sad tale ! " said the Mouse, turning to Ahce, and sighing. '' It is a long tail, certainly," said Alice, look- ing down with wonder at the Mouse's tail; " but why do you call it sad ? " And she kept on puzzling about it while the Mouse was speaking, AND A LONG TALE. 37 SO that her idea of the tale was somethhig like this: "Fury said to a mouse, Tliat he met ill the house, ' Let us both go to law : / will prosecute you. — Come, I'll take no denial ; We must have a trial : For really this morning I've nothing to do/ Said the mouse to the cur, 'Such a trial, dear sir, "With no ,iury or jadge, would be wasting our breath.' 'Ill be judge, I'll be „ jury,' Said cunning old Fury; 'III try the whole cause, and condemn you death.'" 38 A CAUCUS-RACE " You are not attending ! " said the Mouse to Alice, severely. " What are you thinking of? " ^^ I beg your pardon," said Alice very humbly i " you had got to the fifth bend, I think ? " "I had not!''^ cried the Mouse, sharply and very angrily. "A knot!" said Alice, always ready to make herself useful, and looking anxiously about her. "^^ Oh, do let me help to undo it ! " "I shall do nothing of the sort," said the Mouse, getting up and walking away. ^^You insult me by talking such nonsense ! " "I didn't mean it!" pleaded poor Alice. 'But you're so easily offended, you know!" The Mouse only growled in reply. " Please come back, and finish your story ! " Alice called after it; and the others all joined in chorus, " Yes, please do ! " but the Mouse only shook its head impatiently, and walked a little quicker. " What a pity it w^ouldn't stay ! " sighed the Lory, as soon as it was quite out of sight; AND A LONG TALE. 39 and an old crab took the opportunity of saying to her daughter, "Ah, my dear! Let this be a lesson to you never to lose yoitr temper!'^ *^^ Hold your tongue. Ma!" said the young crab, a little snappishly. " You're enough to try the patience of an oyster ! " " I wish I had our Dinah here, I know I do ! " said Alice aloud, addressing nobody in particular. " She'd soon fetch it back ! " "And who is Dinah, if I might venture to ask the question?" said the Lory. Alice replied eagerly, for she was always ready to talk about her pet. "Dinah's our cat. And she's such a capital one for catching mice, you can't think! And oh, I wish you could see her after the birds ! Why, she'll eat a little bird as soon as look at it!" This speech caused a remarkable sensation among the party. Some of the birds hurried off at once: one old magpie began wrapping itself up very carefully, remarking, "I really must be getting home; the night-air doesn't 40 A CAUCUS-RACE AND A LONG TALE. suit my throat ! " and a canary called out in a trembling voice to its children, -^ Come away, my dears! It's high time you were all in bed! " On various pretexts they all moved off, and Alice was soon left alone. " I wish I hadn't mentioned Dinah ! " she said to herself in a melancholy tone. " Nobody seems to like her, down here, and I'm sure she's the best cat in the world ! Oh, my dear Dinah ! I wonder if I shall ever see you any more ! " And here poor Alice began to cry again, for she felt very lonely and low-spirited. In a little while, however, she again heard a little patter- ing of footsteps in the distance, and she looked up eagerly, half hoping that the Mouse had changed his mind, and was coming back to finish his story. CHAPTEE lY. THE RABBIT SENDS ES^ A LITTLE BILL. It was the White Rabbit, trotting slowly back again, and looking anxiously about as it went, as if it had lost something; and she heard it muttering to itself, "The Duchess! The Duchess! Oh my dear paws! Oh my fur and whiskers! She'll get me executed, as sure as ferrets are ferrets! Where can I have dropped them, I wonder!" Alice guessed in a moment that it was looking for the fan and the pair of white kid gloves, and she very goodnaturedly began hunting about for them, but they were nowhere to be seen — everything seemed to have 42 THE RABBIT SENDS changed since her swhn in the pool, and the great hall, with the glass table and the little door, had vanished completely. Very soon the Rabbit noticed Alice, as she went hunting about, and called out to her in an angry tone, ^^Why, Mary Ann, what are you doing out here? Run home this moiiient, and fetch me a pair of gloves and a fan! Quick, now ! " And Alice was so much frightened that she ran off at once in the direction it pointed to, Avithout trying to explain the mistake that it had made. " He took me for his housemaid," she said to herself as she ran. ^'How surprised he'll be when he finds out who I am! But I'd better take himx his fan and gloves — that is, if I can find them." As she said this, she came upon a neat little house, on the door of which was a bright brass plate with the name '^ W. EABBIT," engraved upon it. She went in without knock- ing, and hurried upstairs, in great fear lest she should meet the real Mary Ann, and be IN A LITTLE BILL. 45 turned out of the house before she had found the fan and gloves. " How queer it seems," Alice said to herself^ ^^ to be going messages for a rabbit ! I suppose Dinah'll be sending me on messages next I " And she began fancying the sort of thing that would happen : " ^ Miss Alice ! Come here di- rectly, and get ready for your walk! ' ^ Coming in a minute, nurse! But I've got to watch this mousehole till Dinah comes back, and see that the mouse doesn't get out.' Only I don't think," Alice went on, ^Hhat they'd let Dinah stop in the house if it began ordering people about like that ! " By this time she had found her way into a tidy little room with a table in the window, and on it (as she had hoped) a fan and two or three pairs of tiny Avhite kid gloves: she took up the fan and a pair of the gloves, and was just going to leave the room, when her eye fell upon a little bottle that stood near the looking- glass. There was no label this time with the M THE RABBIT SENDS words " DKINK ME," but nevertheless she nn- corked it and put it to her Ups. "I know something interesting is sure to happen," she said to herself, "whenever I eat or drink any- thing; so I'll just see what this bottle does. I do hope it'll make me grow large again, for really I'm quite tired of being such a tiny little thing!" It did so indeed, and much sooner than she had expected: before she had drunk half the bottle, she found her head pressing against the ceiling, and had to stoop to save her neck from being broken. She hastily put down the bottle, saying to herself, " That's quite enough — I hope I shan't grow any more — As it is, I can't get out at the door — I do wish I hadn't drunk quite so much! " Alas ! It was too late to wish that ! She went on growing and growing, and very soon had to kneel down on the floor : in another minute there was not even room for this, and she tried the effect of lying down, with one rX A LITTLE BILL. 45 elbow against the door, and the other arm curled ronnd her head. Still she went on growing, and, as a last resource, she put one arm out of the window, and one foot up the chimney, and said to herself, " N"ow I can do no more, what- ever happens. What will become of me?" Luckily for Alice, the little magic bottle had now had its full effect, and she grew no larger: still it was very nncomfortable, and, as there seemed to be no sort of chance of her ever 46 THE RABBIT SENDS getting out of the room again, no wonder she felt unhappy. ^^It was much pleasanter at home," thought poor AUce, "when one Avasn't always growing larger and smaller, and being ordered about by mice and rabbits. I almost wash I hadn't gone down that rabbit-hole — and yet — and yet — it's rather curious, you know, this sort of life ! I do w^onder what can have happened to me ! When I used to read faiiy-tales, I fancied that kind of thing never happened, and now here I am in the middle of one! There ought to be a book written about me, that there ought ! And when I grow up, I'll write one — but I'm grown up now," she added in a sorrowful tone, •^ at least there's no room to grow up any more "But then," thought Alice, "shall I never get any older than I am now? That'll be a comfort, one way — never to be an old woman — -but then — always to have lessons to learn! Oh, I shouldn't like that!'' IN A LITTLE BILL. 47 " Oh, you foolish AUce ! " she answered her- self. " How can you learn lessons in here ? Why, there's hardlj^ room foi* you, and no rooii: at all for any lesson-books ! " And so she went on, taking first one side and then the other, and making quite a conversation of it altogether, but after a few minutes she heard a voice outside, and stopjDed to listen. " Mary Ann ! Mary Ann ! " said the voice, " fetch me my gloves this moment ! " Then came a little pattering of feet on the stairs. Alice knew it was the Rabbit coming to look for her, and she trembled till she shook the house, quite forgetting that she was now about a thousand times as large as the Rabbit, and had no reason to be afraid of it. Presently the Rabbit came up to the door, and triad to open it, but as the door opened inwards, and Alice's elbow was j^ressed hard against it, that attempt proved a failure. AHce heard it say to itself, " Then PU go round and get in at the window." 48 THE RABBIT SENDS " That yon won't 1 " thonght Alice, and, after waiting till she fancied she heard the Rabbit just under the window, she suddenly spread out her hand, and made a snatch in the air. She did not get hold of anything, but she heard a little shriek and a fall, and a crash of bro- ken glass, from which she concluded that >/'X it was just possible it had fallen into a cucumber- frame, or something of the sort. Ifext came an angry voice — the E-abbit's — ^^Pat! Pat! "Where are you?" And then a Toice she had never heard before, " Sure then Pm here! Digging for apples, yer honour!" ^^ Digging for apples, indeed ! " said the RabMt angrily, ^'Here! Come and help me IN A LITTLE BILL. 49 out of tills P^ (Sounds of more broken glass.) "Now tell me, Pat, what's that in the window?" "Sure, it's an arm, yer honor!" (He pro- nounced it " ari'um.") "An arm, you goose! "Who ever saw one that size? Why, it fills the whole window!" "Sure, it does, yer honor: but it's an arm for all that," "Well, it's got no business there, at any rate: go and tak<,' it away! " There avis a long silence after this, and Alice could only hear whispers now and then, such as, " Sure, I don't like it, yer honor, at all at all!" "Do as I tell you, you coward!" and at last she spread out her hand again and made another e natch in the air. This time thei-e were tn^o little shrieks, and more sounds of broken glass. " What a number of cucumber frames there must be ! " thought Alice. " I wonder what they'll do next! As for pulling me out of the window, I only wish they could! I'm sure / don't want to stay in here any longer 1" 4 60 THE RABBIT SENDS She waited for some time without hearing anything more: at last came a rumbling of little cart-wheels, and the sound of a good many voices all talking together: she made out the words, ■'^Where's the other ladder? — Why, 1 hadn't to bring but one: Bilfs got the other — Bill I fetch it here, lad ! — Here, put 'em up at this corner — Xo, tie 'em together first — they don't reach half high enough yet — Oh! they'll do well enough; don't be particular — Here, Bill! catch hold of this rope — Will the roof bear? — Mind that loose slate — Oh, it's coming down! Heads below!" (a loud crash) — "^ow, who did that? — It Avas Bill, I fancy — Who's to go down the chimney? — ^ay, / shan't! Ton do itl — That I won't then! — Bill's got to go down — Here, Bill! the master says you've got to go down the chimney ! " ^^Oh, so Bill's got to come down the chim= ney, has he?" said Alice to herself "Why^ they seem to put everything upon Bill! I wouldn't be in Bill's place for a good deal: IN A LITTLE BILL. 51 this fireplace is narrow, to be sure, but I thinh I can kick a little!" She drew her foot as far down the chimney as she could, and waited till she heard a little animal (she couldn't guess of what sort it w\as) scratch- ing and scrambling about in the chimney close above her: then, saying to her- self, ^^'This is Bill," she gave one sharp kick, and waited to see what would happen next. The first thing she heard was a general chorus of " There goes Bill!" then the Rabbit's voice alone, " Catch him, you by the hedo-e! " then 52 THE RABBIT SENDS silence, and then another confusion of voices—- ^^Hold up his head — Brandy now — Don't choke bim — How was it, old feUow? What happened to you? Tell us all about it! " Last came a little feeble squeaking voice, (" That's Bill," thought Alice,) " Well, I hardly know — lito more, thank'ye, I'm better now^ but I'm a deal too flustered to tell you — all I know is, something comes at me like a Jack- in-the-box, and up I goes like a sky-rocket ! " " So you did, old fellow ! " said the others. " We must burn the house down ! " said the Rabbit's voice, and Alice called out as loud as she could, " If you do, I'll set Dinah at you ! '^ There was a dead silence instantly, and Alice thought to herself, "I w^onder what they loill do next! If they had any sense, they'd take the roof off." After a minute or two they _^gan moving about again, and Alice heard the Rabbit say, "A barrowful will do, to begin with.''' '^A barrowful of ivJiat?^^ thought Ahce; but she had not long to doubt, for the next moment IN A LITTLE BILL. 03 a shower of little pebbles came rattling in at the window, and some of them hit her in the face. " I'll put a stop to this," she said to herself, and shouted out, "You'd better not do that again ! " which produced another dead silence. Alice noticed with some surprise that the pebbles were all turning into little cakes as they lay on the floor, and a bright idea came into her head. "If I eat one of these cakes," she thought, "it's sure to make some change in my size: and as it can't possibly make me larger, it must make me smaller, I suppose." So she swallowed one of the cakes, and was delighted to find that she began shrinking directly. As soon as she was small enough to get through the door, she ran out of the house, and found quite a crowd of little animals and birds waiting outside. The poor little Lizard, Bill, was in the middle, being held up by two guinea-pigs, who were giving it something out of a bottle. They all made a rush at Alice the moment she appeared, but she ran off as hard &4 THE RABBIT SENDS as she could, and soon found herself safe in a thick wood. "The first thing I've got to do," said Alice to herself, as she wandered about in the wood, "is to grow to my right size again; and the second thing is to find my way into that lovely garden. I think that will be the best plan." It sounded an excellent plan, no doubt, and veiy neatly and simply arranged; the only difiiculty was, that she had not the smallest idea how to set about it; and while she was peering about anxiously among the trees, a little shai-p bark just over her head made her look up in a great huriy. An enormous puppy was looking down at her with large round eyes, and feebly sti-etching out one paw, trying to touch her. " Poor little thing!" said Alice in a coaxing tone, and she tried hard to whistle to it, but she was terribly frightened all the time at the thought that it might be hungry, in which case it would be very likely to eat her up in spite of all her coaxing. m A LITTLE BILL. 65 Hardly knowing what she did, she jDicked up a httle bit of stick, and held it out to the puppy; whereupon the puppy jumped into the air off all its feet at ouce, with a yelp of 56 THE RABBIT SEX OS delight, and rushed at the stick, and made be- lieve to worry it; then Alice dodged behind a great thistle, to keep herself from being run over, and, the moment she appeared on the other side, the pnppy made another rush at the stick, and tumbled head over heeb in its hurry to get hold of it; then Alice, thinking it was very like having a game of play with a cart- horse, and expecting every moment to be tram- pled under its feet, ran round the thistle again; then the puppy began a series of short charges at the stick, running a very little way forwards each time and a long way back, and bark- ing hoarsely all the while, till at last it sat down a good way off, panting, with its tongue hanging out of its mouth, and its great eyes half shut. This seemed to Alice a good opportunity for making her escape, so she set off at once, and ran till she Avas quite tired and out of breath, and till the pup23y's bark sounded quite faint in the distance. IN A LITTLE BILL. 57 " And yet what a dear little puppy it was ! " said Alice, as she leant against a buttercup to rest herself, and fanned herself with one of the leaves; "I should have liked teaching it tricks very much, if— if I'd only been the right size to do it! Oh dear! I'd nearly forgotten that I've got to grow up again! Let me see — how is it to be managed? I snppose I ought to eat or drink something or other; but the great question is, what?" The great question certainly was, what? Alice looked all round her at the flowers and the blades of grass, but she could not see any- thing that looked like the right thing to eat or drink under the cii'cumstances. There was a large mushroom growing near her, about the same height as herself, and when she had look- ed under it, and on both sides of it, and behind it, it occurred to her that she might as well look and see what was on the top of it. She stretched herself up on tiptoe, and peeped over the edge of the mushroom, and her 58 THE RABBIT SEXDS IN A LITTLE BILL. eyes immediately met those of a large blue caterpillar, that was sitting on the top with its arms folded, quietly smoking a long hookah, and taking not the smallest notice of her or of anything else. CHAPTER V. ADVICE FROM A CATERPILLAR. The Caterpillar and Alice looked at each other for some time m silence : at last the Caterpillar took the hookah out of its mouthy and addressed her in a languid, sleepy voice. 60 ADVICE FROM A ^^Who are yoiif^^ said the Caterpillar. This was not an encouraging opening for a conversation. Alice replied, rather shyly, "I— I hardly know, sir, just at present — at least I know who I was when I got up this mornings but I think I must have been changed several times since then." "What do you mean by that?" said the Caterpillar sternly. "Explain yourself!" "I can't explain myself^ I'm afraid, sir," said Alice, " because I'm not myself, you see." ^^I don't see," said the Caterpillar. "I'm afraid I can't put it more clearly," Alice replied very politely, " for I can't under- stand it myself to begin with; and being so many different sizes in a day is very confus- ing." "It isn't," said the Caterpillar. " Well, perhaps you haven't found it so yet/' said Alice; "but when you have to turn into a chrysalis — you will some day, you know — and CATERPILLAR. 61 then after that into a butterfly, I should think you'll feel it a little queer, won't you?" "Not a bit," said the Caterpillar. "Well, perhaps your feelings may be differ- ent," said Alice; "all I know is, it would feel very queer to me." "You!" said the Caterpillar contemptuously. "Who are tjouf' Which brought them back again to the be- ginning of the conversation. Alice felt a little ii'ritated at the Caterpillar's making such very short remarks, and she drew herself up and said, very gravely, "I think you ought to tell me who you are, first." "Why?" said the Caterpillar. Here was another puzzling question; and, as Alice could not think of any good reason, and as the Caterpillar seemed to be in a very un- pleasant state of mind, she turned away. "Come back!" the Caterpillar called after her. " I've something important to say ! " This sounded promising, certainly: Alice turned and came back asrain. 62 ADVICE FROM A "Keep your temper," said the Caterpillar. ^^Is that all?" said Alice, swallowiifg down her anger as well as she could. '^^N'o," said the Caterpillar. Alice thought she might as well wait, as she had nothing else to do, and perhaps after all it might tell her something worth hearing. For some minutes it puffed away without speak- ing, but at last it unfolded its arms, took the hookah out of its mouth again, and said, "So you think you're changed, do you?" "I'm afraid I am, sir," said Alice; "I can't remember things as I used — and I don't keep the same size for ten minutes together!" "Can't remember what things?" said the Caterpillar. "Well, I've tried to say 'How doth the little busy bee,' but it all came different!" Alice replied in a very melancholy voice. " Repeat ' You are old, Father William^^ " said the Caterpillar. Alice folded her hands, and began: — CATERPILLAR. 63 ^^You ai^e old, father William,^' the young man ^^ And your hair has become very wliite; And yet you incessantly stand on your head — Do you thinh, at your age, it is right f^'' ^^ Li my youthr father William replied to his son ^^ I feared it might injure the brain; But now that Tm perfectly sure I have none. Why, I do it agaiyi and again." 64 ADVICE FROM A ^^You are old," said the youth, ^^ as 1 7ne7itioned before. And have grown most uncommonhj fat ; Yet you turned a baclc-somersault in at the door — Pray, what is the reason of that f" '^ In my youth," said the sage, as he shook his grey lochs, '^7 kept all my limbs very supjjle By the uxe of this ointment — one shilling the box—^ Allow me to sell you a couple " CATERPILLAR. 6a ^You are old" said the youth, ^^ and your jaios are too weah For anything tougher than suet; ITet you finished the goose, with the bones and the healc' Pray, how did you manage to do it " ^^ In my youth, ''^ said his father, ^^ I took to the law, And argued each case with my wife; And the muscular strength, which it gave to my jaw ^ Has lasted the rest of my life," 6 66 ADVICE FROM A ^You are old^^^ said the youth; one would hardly sup- pose That your eye ivas as steady as ever; Yet you balanced an eel on the end of your nose — = What made you so awfully clever 9" ^ I have answered three questions, and that is enough^ Said his father ; ^^ donH give yourself airs! Do you thinJc I can listen all day to such stuff 9 Be off, or Til Icicle you down stairs! " CATERPILLAR. 67 "That is not said right," said the Caterpillar. "]^ot quite right, I'm afraid," said Alice timidly; " some of the words have got altered." "It is wrong from beginning to end," said the Caterpillar decidedly, and there was silence for some minutes. The Caterpillar was the first to speak. "What size do you want to be?" it asked. "Oh, I'm not particular as to size," Alice hastily replied; "only one doesn't like changing so often, you know." "I donH know," said the Caterpillar. Alice said nothing: she had never been so much contradicted in all her life before, and she felt that she was losing her temper. "Are you content now?" said the Caterpillar. "Well, I should like to be a little larger, sir, if you wouldn't mind," said Alice: "three inches is such a wretched height to be." " It is a very good height indeed ! " said the Caterpillar angrily, reai'ing itself upright as it spoke (it was exactly three inches high). 68 ADVICE FROM A " But I'm not used to it ! " pleaded pooi! Alice in a jDiteous tone. And she thought to herself, "I wish the creatures wouldn't be so easily oflPended ! " "You'll get used to it in time," said the Caterpillar; and it put the hookah into its mouth and began smoking again. This time Alice waited patiently until it chose to speak again. In a minute or two the Caterpillar took the hookah out of its mouth, and yaAvned once or twice, and shook itself. Then it got down off the mushroom, and crawled away into the grass, mei'ely remarking as it went, " One side will make you grow taller, and the other side will make you grow shorter." "One side of what? The other side of wJiatf^^ thought Alice to herself. "Of the mushroom," said the Caterpillar, just as if she had asked it aloud; and in another moment it was out of sight. Alice remained looking thoughtfiilly at the mushroom for a minute, trying to make out CATERPILLAR. 69 which were the two sides of it; and, as it was perfectly round, she found this a very difficult question. However, at last she stretched her arms round it as far as they would go, and broke off a bit of the edge with each hand. ^^And now which is which?" she said to her- self, and nibbled a little of the right-hand bit to try the effect: the next moment she felt a vio- lent blow underneath her chin; it had struck her foot! She was a good deal frightened by this very sudden change, but she felt that there was no time to be lost, as she was shrinking rapidly; so she set to work at once to eat some of the other bit. Her chin was pressed so closely against her foot, that there was hardly room to open her mouth; but she did it at last, and managed to swallow a morsel of the left-hand bit. ***** 70 ADVICE FROM A " Come, my head's free at last! " said Alice in a tone of delight, which changed into alarm in another moment, when she found that her shoulders were nowhere to be found: all she could see, when she looked down, was an im- mense length of neck, which seemed to rise like a stalk out of a sea of green leaves that lay far below her. "What can all that green stuff be?" said Alice. "And where have my shoulders got to? And oh, my poor hands, how is it I can't se^^ you?" She was moving them about as she spoke, but no result seemed to follow, except a little shaking among the distant green leaves. As there seemed to be no chance of getting her hands up to her head, she tried to get her head down to them, and was dehghted to find that her neck would bend about easily in any direction, like a serpent. She had just succeeded in curving it down into a graceful zigzag, and was going to dive in among the leaves, which she found to be nothing but the tops of the CATERPILLAR. 71 trees under which she had been wandering, when a sharp hiss made her draw back in a hurry: a large pigeon had flown into her face, and was beating her violently with its wings. " Serpent ! '' screamed the Pigeon. ^^I'm not a serpent!" said Alice indignantly. " Let me alone ! " " Serpent, I say again ! " repeated the Pigeon, but in a more subdued tone, and added with a kind of sob, " I've tried every way, and nothing seems to suit them ! " " I haven't the least idea what you're talking about," said Alice. "Pve tried the roots of trees, and Pve tried banks, and Pve tried hedges," the Pigeon went on, without attending to her; ^^but those ser- pents ! There's no pleasing them ! " Alice Avas more and more puzzled, but she thought there was no use in saying anything more till the Pigeon had finished. ^^As if it wasn't trouble enough hatching the eggs," said the Pigeon, " but I must be on 72 ADVICE FROM A the look-out for serpents night and day ! Why, I haven't had a wnik of sleep these three weeks ! " "I'm very sorry you've been annoyed," said Alice, who was beginning to see its meaning. "And just as I'd taken the highest tree in the wood," continued the Pigeon, raising its voice to a shriek, " and just as I was thinking I should be free of them at last, they must needs come wriggling down from the sky! Ugh! Serpent!" " But I'm not a serpent, I tell you ! " said Alice, ^^Pma— I'ma " "Well! What are you?" said the Pigeon. "I can see you're trying to invent something! " "I — I'm a little girl," said Alice, rather doubt- fully, as she remembered the number of changes she had gone through that day. "A likely story indeed!" said the Pigeon in a tone of the deepest contempt. "I've seen a good many little girls in my time, but never one with such a neck as that! ]S"o, not You're a CATERPILLAR. 73 serpent; and there's no use denying it. I sup- pose you'll be telling me next that you never tasted an egg I " "I have tasted eggs, certainly," said Alice, who was a very truthful child; "but little girls eat eggs quite as much as serpents do, you know." "I don't believe it," said the Pigeon; "but if they do, why then they're a kind of serpent, that's all I can say." This was such a new idea to Alice, that she was quite silent for a minute or two, which gave the Pigeon the opportunity of adding, " You're looking for eggs, I know that well enough ; and what does it matter to me whether you're a little girl or a serpent?" "It matters a good deal to 77ze," said Alice hastily; "but I'm not looking for eggs, as it happens; and if I was, I shouldn't want yours: I don't like them raw." " Well, be off, then ! " said the Pigeon in a sulky tone, as it settled down again into its 74 ADVICE FROM A nest. Alice crouched down among the trees as well as she could, for her neck kept getting entangled among the branches, and every now and then she had to stop*and untwist it. After a while she remembered that she still held the pieces of mushroom in her hands, and she set to work very carefully, nibbling first at one and then at the other, and gromng sometimes taller and sometimes shorter, until she had suc- ceeded in bringing herself down to her usual height. It was so long since she had been anything near the right size, that it felt quite strange at first, but she got used to it in a few min- utes, and began talking to herself as usual. " Come, there's half my plan done now ! How puzzling all these changes are! I'm never sure what I'm going to be, from one minute to an- other! However, I've got back to my right size: the next thing is, to get into that beau- tiful garden — how is that to be done, I won- der? " As she said this, she came suddenly upon CATERPILLAR. an open place, with a little house in it about four feet high. " Whoever lives there/' thought Alice, "it'll never do to come upon them this size: why, I should frighten them out of their wits ! " So she began nibbling at the right-hand bit again, and did not venture to go near the house till she nad orougnt nerseif down to nine inches high. CH^PTEE YT. PIG AND PEPPER. For a minute or two she stood looking at the house, and wondermg what to do next, when suddenly a footman in livery came run- ning out of the wood — (she considered him to be a footman because he was in livery: other- wise, judging by his face only, she would tiave i called him a fish) — and rapped loudly at the j door with his knuckles. It was ojDened by j another footman in livery, with a round face ! and large eyes like a frog; and both footmen, i Alice noticed, had powdered hair that curled | all over their heads. She felt very curious ! PIG AXD PEPPER. 77 to know what it was all about, and crept a little way out of the wood to listen. The Fish-Footman began by producing from under his arm a great letter, nearly as large as himself, and this he handed over to the other, saying in a solemn tone, " For the Duch- ess. An invitation from the Queen to play 78 PIG AND PEPPER. croquet." The Frog-Foottnan repeated, in the same solemn tone, only changing the order of the words a little, " From the Queen. An invi= tation for the Duchess to play croquet." Then they both bowed low, and their curls got entangled together. Alice laughed so much at this that she had to run back into the wood for fear of their hearing her, and when she next peeped out the Fish-Footman was gone, and the other was sitting on the ground near the door, staring stupidly up into the sky. Alice went timidly up to the door, and knocked. "There's no sort of use in knocking," said the Footman, " and that for two reasons. First, because I'm on the same side of the door as you are ; secondly, because they're making such a noise inside, no one could possibly hear you." And certainly there was a most extraordinary noise going on within — a constant howling and sneezing, and every now and then a great PIG AND PEPPER. 79 crash, as if a dish or kettle had been broken to pieces. "Please, then," said Alice, "how am I to get in ? " " There might be some sense in your knock- ing," the Footman went on without attending to her, "if we had the door between us. For instance, if you were iiiside, you might knock, and I could let you out, you know." He was looking up into the sky all the time he was speaking, and this Alice thought decidedly uncivil. "But perhaps he can't help it," she said to herself; "his eyes are so ve?^}/ nearly at the top of his head. But at any i^ate he might answer questions — How am I to get in? " she repeated, aloud. "I shall sit here," the Footman remarked, " till to-morrow " At this moment the door of the house opened, and a large plate came skimming out, straight at the Footman's head: it just grazed his nose, and broke to pieces against one of the trees behind him. 80 PIG AND PEPPER. ^^ or next day, maybe," the Footman con- tinned in the same tone, exactly as if nothing had happened. "How am I to get in?" AUce asked again in a louder tone. ^^Are you to get in at all?" said the Footman. " That's the first question, you know." It was, no doubt: only Alice did not like to be told so. " It's really dreadful," she muttered to herself, "the way all the creatures argue. It's enough to drive one crazy!" The Footman seemed to think this a good opportunity for repeating his remark, with variations. " I shall sit here," he said, " on and off, for days and days." "But Avhat am I to do?" said Alice. "Anything you like," said the Footman, and began whistling. " Oh, there's no use in talking to him," said Alice desperately: " he's perfectly idiotic! " And she opened the door and went in. PIG AND PEPPER. 81 ^"vCn // \W*iBm^^ ^ifir.A- JTZIIPTZrF^ The door led right into a largo kitchen, which was full of smoke fi'om one end to the other: the Duchess was sitting on a three-legged stool in the middle, nursing a baby; the cook was leaning over the fire, stirring a large cauldron which seemed to be full of soup. ^^ There's certainly too much pepper in that soup! " Alice said to herself, as well as she could for sneezing. 82 PIG AND PEPPER. There was certainly too much of it in the air. Even the Duchess sneezed occasionally; and as for the baby, it was sneezing and howl- ing alternately without a moment's pause. The only tAvo creatures in the kitchen that did not sneeze, were the cook, and a large cat which was sitting on the hearth and grinning from ear to ear. "Please, would you tell me," said Alice, a little timidly, for she was not quite sure whether it was good manners for her to speak first, " why your cat grins like that ? " " It's a Cheshire cat," said the Duchess, " and that's why. Pig!" She said the last word with such sudden vio- lence that Alice quite jumped; but she saw in another moment that it was addressed to the baby, and not to her, so she took courage, and went on again : — "I didn't know that Cheshire cats always grinned; in fact, I didn't know that cats could grin." PIG AND PEPPER. 83 " The J all can," said the Duchess ; " and most of 'em do." " I don't know of any that do," Alice said very politely, feeling quite pleased to have got into a conversation. "You don't know much," said the Duchess; "and that's a fact." Alice did not at all like the tone of this remark, and thought it would be as w^ell to introduce some other subject of conversation. While she was trying to fix on one, the cook took the cauldron of soup off the fire, and at once set to w^ork throwing everything within her reach at the Duchess and the baby — the fire-irons came first; then followed a shower of saucepans, plates, and dishes. The Duchess took no notice of them, even when they hit her; and the baby w^as howling so much already, that it was quite impossible to say whether the blows hurt it or not. " Oh, please mind what you're doing ! " cried Alice, jumping up and down in an agony of 84 PIG AND PEPPER. terror. " Oh, there goes his precious nose ! " as an unusually large saucepan flew close by it, and very nearly carried it off. " If everybody minded their own business," said the Duchess in a hoarse growl, ^- the world would go round a deal faster than it does." "Which would not be an advantage," said Alice, Avho felt very glad to get an opportunity of showing ofi* a little of her knowledge. " Just think what work it w^ould make with the day and night! You see the earth takes twenty-four hours to turn round on its axis- " " Talking of axes," said the Duchess, " chop off her head!" Alice glanced rather anxiously at the cook, to see if she meant to take the hint; but the cook was busily stirring the soup, and seemed not to be listening, so she went on again: "Twenty- four hours, I think; or is it twelve? I " "Oh, don't bother me," said the Duchess; "I never could abide figures." And with that she began nursing her child again, singing a sort of PIG AND PEPPER. 85 lullaby to it as she did so, and giving it a violent shake at the end of every line: — " Speak 7'oughly to your little hoy, And beat him when he sneezes; He only does it to annoy, Because he Tcnoxcs it teases.^' Chorus (in which the cook and the baby joined) : ^ " Wow ! icow ! wotv ! " "While the Duchess sang the second verse of the song, she kept tossing the baby violently up and down, and the poor little thing howled so, that Alice could hardly hear the words : — "7 speak severely to my hoy, I heat him when he sneezes; For he can thoroughly enjoy The pepper when he pleases 1^^ Chorus "TFbi^/ wow! wow I''' 86 PIG AND PEPPER. '^ Here ! you may nurse it a bit, if you like ! " said tlie Ducliess to Alice, flinging the baby at her as she spoke. " I must go and get ready to play croquet with the Queen," and she hurried out of the room. The cook threw a fryingpan after her as she w^ent, but it just missed her. Alice caught the baby Avith some difficulty, as it was a queer-shaped little creature, and held out its ai'ms and legs in all directions, "just like a star-fish," thought Alice. The poor little thing- was snorting like a steam-engine when she caught it, and kept doubling itself up and straightening itself out again, so that altogether, for the first minute or two, it was as much as she could do to hold it. As soon as she had made out the proj)er way of nursing it, (which was to twist it up into a sort of knot, and then keep tight hold of its right ear and left foot, so as to prevent its undoing itself,) she carried it out into the open air. " If I don't take this child away with me,'' thought Alice, " they're sure to kill it in a day PIG AND PEPPER. 87 or two: wouldn't it be murder to leave it behind?" She said the last words out loud, and the little thing grunted in reply (it had left off sneezing by this time). "Don't grunt," said Alice: "that's not at all a proper way of expressing yourself." The baby grunted again, and Alice looked very anxiously into its face to see what was the matter with it. There could be no doubt that it had a very turn-up nose, much more like a snout than a real nose; also its eyes were getting extremely small, for a baby: altogether Alice did not like the look of the thing at all, " — but perhajDS it was only sobbing," she thought, and looked into its eyes again, to see if there were any tears. N^o, there were no tears. " If you're going to turn into a pig, my dear," said Alice, seriously, ^^ I'll have nothing more to do with you. Mind now!" The poor little thing sobbed again, (or grunted, it was impossible to say which,) and they went on for some while in silence. «8 PIG AND PEPPER. Alice was just beginning to think to herself, "Now, what am I to do Avith this creature when I get it home?" when it grunted again^ so violently, that she looked down into its face in some alarm. This time there could be no mistake about it : it was neither ,, ,, more nor less than WA'. ^ P^o' ^^^^ ^^^^ ^^^^ that it would be fe quite absurd for her to carry it any fur- ther. So she set the little creature down, and felt quite relieved to see it trot away quietly into the wood. "If it had grown up," she said to herself, " it Avould have been a dreadfully ugly child: but it makes rather a handsome pig, I think." And she be- gran thinkinof over other children she knew, who PIG AND PEPPER. 89 might do very well as pigs, and was just say- ing to herself, " if one only knew the right way to change them " when she was a little startled by seeing the Cheshire Cat sitting on a bough of a tree a few yards off. The Cat only gi'inned when it saw Alice. It looked goodnatured, she thought: still it had very long claws and a great many teeth, so she felt it ought ta be treated with respect. ''^ Cheshire Puss," she began, rather timidly, as she did not at all know whether it would like the name: however, it only grinned a little wider. '^ Come, it's pleased so far," thought Alice, and she went on, "Would you tell me, please, which way I ought to walk from here?" "That depends a good deal on where you want to get to," said the Cat. "I don't much care where " said Alice. "Then it doesn't matter which way you walk," said the Cat. " so long as I get somewliere^'^ Alice added as an explanation. 90 PIG AND PEPPER. "^^ Oh, you're sure to do that," said the Cat, " if you ouly walk long enough." Alice felt that this could not be denied, so she tried another question. "What sort of peoj^le live about here?" " In that direction," the Cat said, waving its right paw round, "lives a Hatter: and in that direction," waving the other paw, " lives a March Hare. Visit either you like : they're both mad.'^ "But I don't w^ant to go among mad people," Alice remarked. "Oh, you can't help that," said the Cat: " we're all mad here. I'm mad. You're mad." "How do you know I'm mad?" said Alice. "You must be," said the Cat, ''or jon wouldn't have come here." Alice didn't think that proved it at all; however, she went on: "and how do you know that you're mad?" " To begin with," said the Cat, " a dog's not mad. You grant that?" "I suppose so," said Alice. PIG AND PEPPER. yi "Well then," the Cat went on, "you see a dog growls when it's angry, and wags its tail when it's pleased. In ow Jgrowl when I'm pleased, and w\ag rvj tailwhenl-m angry. There- fore I'm mad, "/ call it purrmg, not growling," said Alice. " Call it what you like-'' said the Cat. "Do you play croquet with the Queen to-day?" y2 PIG AND PEPPER. "I should like it very much," said Alice, ^^but I haven't been invited yet." " You'll see me there," said the Cat, and vanished. Alice was not much surprised at this, she v^as getting so well used to queer things hap- pening, "While she was still looking at the place w^hero it had been, it suddenly appeared again. ^^ By - the - bye, what became of the baby?" said the Cat. " I'd nearly forgotten to ask." " It turned into a pig," Alice answered very quietly, just as if the Cat had come back in a natural way. " I thought it w^ould," said the Cat, and van- ished again. Alice waited a little, half expecting to see it again, but it did not appear, and after a minute or two she walked on in the direction in which the March Hare w^as said to live. ^^ I've seen hatters before," she said to herself: " the March Hare will be much the most interesting, and PIG AND PEPPER. 93 perhaps as this is May it won't be raving mad — at least not so mad as it was in March." As she said this, she looked np, and there was the Cat again, sitting on a branch of a tree. "Did yon say pig, or fig?" said the Cat. "I said pig," replied Alice; "and I ^yish you wouldn't keep appearing and vanishing so sud- denly: you make one quite giddy," "All right," said the Cat; and this time it vanished quite slowly, beginning with the end of the tail, and ending with the grin, wdiich re- mained some time after the rest of it had gone. 94 PIG AND PEPPER. " Well ! I've often seen a cat without a grin," thought Alice; "but a grin without a cat I It's the most curious thing I ever saw in all my life ! " She had not gone much farther before she came in sight of the house of the March Ilare: she thought it must be the right house, because the chimneys were shaped like ears and the roof was thatched with fur. It was so large a house, that she did nc^t like to go nearer till she had nibbled some more of the left-hand bit o. 'nush- room, and raised herself to about two feet high: even then she walked up towards it rather timidly, saying to herself, " Suppose it should be raving mad after all! I almost wish I'd gone to see the Hatter instead ! " CHAPTER yri. A MAD TEA-PARTYo There was a table set out under a tree in front of the house, and the March Hare and the Hatter were having tea at it: a Dormouse was sitting between them, fast asleep, and the other two were using it as a cushion, resting their elbows on it, and talking over its head. "Very uncomfortable for the Dormouse," thought Alice; " only, as it's asleep, I suppose it doesn't mind." The table was a large one, but the three were all crowded together at one corner of it: " Ko room ! No i*oom ! " they cried out when they saw Alice coming. "There's plenty of 96 A MAD TEA-PARTY. room ! " said Alice indignantly, and she sat down in a large arm-chair at one end of the table. "Have some wine," the March Hare said in an encouraging tone. Alice looked all round the table, but there was nothing on it but tea. "I don't see any wine," she remarked^ " There isn't any," said the March Hare. " Then it wasn't very civil of you to offer it," said Alice angrily. "It wasn't very civil of you to sit down without being invited," said the March Hare. "I didn't know it was your table," said Alice; "it's laid for a great many more than three." "Your hair wants cutting," said the Hatter. He had been looking at Alice for some time with great curiosity, and this was his first speech. "You should learn not to make personal remarks," Alice said with sorae severity: "it's very rude." A iMAD TEA-PARTY. The Hatter ojDened his eyes very wide on hearing this; but all he said was, "Why is a raven like a writing-desk?" " Come, we shall have some fun now ! '^ thought Alice. "I'm glad they've begun ask- ing riddles — I believe I can guess that," she added aloud. " Do you mean that you think you can find out the answer to it?" said the March Hare, "Exactly so," said Alice. ^S A MAD TEA-PARTY. " Then you should say what you mean," the March Hare went on. "I do," AUce hastily replied; "at least — at least I mean what I say — that's the same things you know." " Not the same thing a bit ! " said the Hatter. " Why, you might just as well say that ^ I see what I eat ' is the same thing as ^ I eat what I see'!" "You might just as well say," added the March Hare, "that '^I like what I get' is the same thing as ^ I get what I like ' ! " "You might just as well say," added the Dor- mouse, who seemed to be talking in his sleep, "that ^I breathe when I sleep' is the same thing as ^ I sleep when I breathe ' ! " "It is the same thing with you," said the Hatter, and here the conversation dropped, and the party sat silent for a minute, while Alice thought over all she could remember about ravens and writing-desks, which wasn't much. The Hatter was the first to break the silence. A MAD TEA-PARTY. 99 '^ What day of the month is it?" he said, turn- ing to Ahce: he had taken his watch out of his pocket, and was looking at it uneasily, shak- ing it every now and then, and holding it to his ear. Alice considered a little, and said, " The fourth." " Two days wrong ! " sighed the Hatter. " I told you butter wouldn't suit the works ! " he added, looking angrily at the March Hare. "It was the hest butter," the March Hare meekly replied. "Yes, but some crumbs must have got in as well," the Hatter grumbled: "you shouldn't have put it in with the bread-knife." The March Hare took the watch and looked at it gloomily: then he dipped it into his cup of tea, and looked at it again: but he could think of nothing better to say than his first remark, "It was the hest butter, you know.." Alice had been looking over his shoulder with some curiosity. " What a funny watch ! " she ■i 100 A MAD TEA-PARTY. I remarked. "It tells the day of the month, and doesn't tell what o'clock it is ! " "Why should it?" muttered the Hatter. "Does your watch tell you what year it is?" "Of course not/' Alice replied very readily: "but that's because it stays the same year for such a long time together." "Which is just the case Avith mine,^^ said the Hatter. Alice felt dreadfully puzzled. The Hatter's Tcmark seemed to her to have no sort of meaning in it, and yet it was certainly English. " I don't quite understand you," she said, as politely as she could. "The Dormouse is asleep again," said the Hattei% and he poured a little hot tea on to its nose. The Dormouse shook its head impatiently, and said, without opening its eyes, " Of course, of course: just what I was going to remark myself." "Have you guessed the riddle yet?" the Hatter said, turnino: to Alice aorain. A MAD TEA-PARTY. 101 ^^No, I give it up/' Alice replied: "what's the answer?" "I haven't the slightest idea," said the Hatter. "^:N"or I," said the March Hare. Alice sighed wearily. ^^I think you might do something better with the time," she said, "than wasting it in asking riddles that have no answers." "If you knew Time as well as I do," said the Hatter, "you wouldn't talk about wasting it. It's A^m." "I don't know what you mean," said Alice. " Of course you don't ! " the Hatter said, tossing his head contemptuously. "I dare say you never even spoke to Time ! " " Perhaps not," Alice cautiously replied : " but I knoAV I have to beat time when I learn music." "Ah! that accounts for it," said the Hatter„ "He won't stand beating. Now, if you only kept on good terms with him, he'd do almost 102 A MAD TEA-PARTY. anything you liked with the clock. For in- stance, suppose it A\ore nine o'clock in the morn- ing, just time to begin lessons: you'd only have to Avhisper a hint to Time, and round goes the clock in a twinkling! Half-past one, time for dinner ! " (" I only wish it w^as," the March Hare said to itself in a w^hisper.) " That Avould be grand, certainly," said Alice thoughtfully : " but then — I shouldn't be hungry for it, you know." " ]S"ot at first, perhaps," said the Hatter : ^^ but you could keep it to half-past one as long as you liked." "Is that the way you manage?" Alice asked. The Hatter shook his head mournfully. " 'Not I " he replied. "We quarrelled last March just before he went mad, you know " (point- ing with his teaspoon at the March Hare,) " it Avas at the great concert given by the Queen of Hearts, and I had to sing." A MAD TEA-PARTY, lOB Twinkle, twinkle, little hat! How I wonder what you're atf* You know the song perhaps? '' ^^ I've heard somethmg Hke it," said Ahce. '' It goes on, you know/' the Hatter contmuedj " in this way : — * Z7p above the world you fiy^ Like a teatray in the sky. Twinkle, twinkl e " * ^ 101 A MAD TEA-PARTY. Here the Dormouse shook itself, and began singmg in its sleep, " Twinkle^ twinkle^ twinMe^ twinkle -" and went on so long that thej had to pinch it to make it stop. "Well, I'd hardly finished the first verse,^ said the Hatter, " when the Queen bawled out ^ He's murdering the time ! Off with his head ! ' " " How dreadfully savage ! " exclaimed Alice. "And ever since that," the Hatter went on in a mournful tone, "he won't do a thing I ask! It's always six o'clock now." A bright idea came into Alice's head. "Is that the reason so many tea-things are put out nere?" she asked. " Yes, that's it," said the Hatter with a sigh : " it's always tea-time, and we've no time to wasn the things between whiles." "Then you keep moving round, I suppose?" said Alice. "Exactly so," said the Hatter: "as the things get used up." " But when you come to the beginning again?" Alice ventured to ask. A MAD TEA-PARTY. 105 " Suppose we change the subject," the March JHare interrupted, yawning. " I'm getting tired of this. I vote the young lady tells us a story." "I'm afraid I don't know one," said Alice, rather alarmed at the proposal. " Then the Dormouse shall ! " they both cried. '^Wake up, Dormouse!" And they pinched it on both sides at once. The Dormouse slowly opened his eyes. "I wasn't asleep," he said in a hoarse, feeble voice : "I heard every word you fellows were say- ing." "Tell us a story!" said the March Hare. "Yes, please do!" pleaded Alice. "And be quick about it," added the Hatter, "or you'll be asleep again before it's done." "Once upon a time there were three little sisters," the Dormouse began in a great hurry; "and their names were Elsie, Lacie, and Tillie; and they lived at the bottom of a well " " What did they live on ? " said Alice, who 106 A MAD TEA-PARTY. always took a great interest in questions of eat- ing and drinking. " They lived on treacle," said the Dormouse, after thinking a minute or two. " They couldn't have done that, you know," Alice gently remarked: " they'd have been ill." " So they were," said the Dormouse; " very ill." Alice tried a little to fancy to herself what such an extraordinary way of living would be like, but it puzzled her too much, so she went on : ^^ But why did they live at the bottom of a Avell?" " Take some more tea," the March Hare said to Alice, very earnestly. "I've had nothing yet," Alice replied in an offended tone, " so I can't take more." " You mean, you can't take Zess," said the Hatter : " it's very easy to take more than nothing." "Nobody asked your opinion," said Alice. "Who's making personal remarks now?" the Hatter asked triumphantly. A MAD TEA-PARTY. 107 Alice did not quite know what to say to this: so she helped herself to some tea and bread-and-- butter, and then turned to the Dormouse^ and repeated her question. "Why did they live at the bottom of a well?" The Dormouse again took a minute or two to think about it, and then said, "It was a treacle- well." "There's no such thing!" Alice was begin- ning very angrily, but the Hatter and the March Hare went " Sh ! sh ! " and the Dormouse sulkily remarked, "If you can't be civil, you'd better finish the story for yourself." " No, please go on ! " Alice said very humbly : " I won't interrupt you again. I dare say there may be oneP "One, indeed! " said the Dormouse indignant- ly. However, he consented to go on. "And so these three little sisters — they were learning to draw, you know " "What did they draw?" said Alice, quite for- getting her promise. 108 A MAD TEA-PARTY. ^^ Treacle," said the Dormouse, without con- sidering at all this time. "I want a clean cup," interrupted the Hatter: " let's all move one place on." He moved on as he spoke, and the Dormouse followed him: the March Hare moved into the Dormouse's place, and Alice rather unwilUngly took the place of the March Hare. The Hatter w^as the only one who got any advantage from the change: and Alice was a good deal worse off than before, as the March Hare had just upset the milk-jug into his plate. Alice did not wish to offend the Dormouse again, so she began very cautiously : ^^ But I don't understand. "Where did they draw the treacle from?" " You can draw water out of a water-well," said the Hatter; "so I should think you could draw treacle out of a treacle- well — eh, stupid?" "But they w^ere in the well," Alice said to the Dormouse, not choosing to notice this last remark. A MAD TEA-PARTY. 109 " Of course they were," said the Dormouse, — • ^^well in." This answer so confused poor Alice, that she let the Dormouse go on for so'me time without interrupting it. " They Avere learning to draw," the Dormouse went on, yawning and rubbing its eyes, for it was getting very sleepy; "and they drew all manner of things — everything that begins with an M " "Why with an M?" said Alice. "Why not?" said the March Hare. Alice was silent. The Dormouse had closed its eyes by this time, and was going off into a doze, but, on being pinched by the Hattei^, it woke up again with a little shriek, and went on: " that begins with an M, such as mousetraps, and the moon, and memory, and muchness — you know you say things are ^ much of a muchness ' — did you ever see such a thing as a drawing of a muchness?" 110 A MAD TEA-PARTY. " Realij, now you ask me," said Alice, very much confused, "I don't think " "Then you shouldn't talk," said the Hatter. This piece of rudeness was more than Alice could bear: she got up in great disgust, and walked off: the Dormouse fell asleep instantly, and neither of the others took the least notice of her going, though she looked back once or twice, half hoping that they would call after her: the last time she saw them, they were trying to put the Dormouse into the teapot. A MAD TEA-PARTY. Ill ^^ At any rate I'll never go there again ! " said Alice as she piclved her way through the wood. "It's the stupidest tea-party I ever was at in all my life!" Just as she said this, she noticed that one of the trees had a door leading right into it. ^' That's very curious ! " she thought. " But 'everything's curious to-day. I think 1 may as well go in at once." And in she went. Once more she found herself in the long hall, and close to the little glass table. " ]^ow, I'll manage better this time," she said to herself, and began by taking the little golden key, and unlocking the door that led into the garden. Then she set to work nibbling at the mushroom (she had kept a piece of it in her pocket) till she was about a foot high: then she walked down the little passage: and then — she found herself at last in the beautiful garden, among the bright flowerbeds and the cool fountainSo \ CHAPTER yill. THE queen's croquet-ground. A LARGE rose-tree stood near the entrance of the garden: the I'oses growing on it were white, but there were three gardenei-s at it, busily painting them red. AUce thought this a very curious thing, and she went nearer to watch them, and just as she came up to them she heard one of them say, " Look out now. Five ! Don't go sphishiug paint over me hke that ! " "I couldu't help it," said Five in a sulky tone; "Seven jogged my elbow." On which Seven looked up aud said, " That's right, Five ! Always lay the blame on others ! '^ THE QUEEN'S CKOQUEl -GROUND. 113 ^'Toii'd better not talk! " said Five. "I heard the Queen say only yesterday you deserved to be beheaded ! " "What for?" said the one who had spoken first. " That's none of yoicr business, Two!" said Seven. "Yes, it is his business ! " said Five, " and I'll tell him — it was for bringhig tiie cook tulip - roots instead of onions." Seven flung down his brush, and had just begun, " Well, of all the unjust things — "when his eye chanced to fall upon Alice, as she stood watching them, and he checked himself suddenly: the others looked round also, and all of them bowed low. 8 114 THE QUEEN'S "Would you tell me, please," said Alice, a little timidly, "why you are painting those roses?" Five and Seven said nothing, but looked at Two. Two began, in a low voice, " Why, the fact is, you see, Miss, this here ought to have been a red rose-tree, and we put a white one in by mistake, and if the Queen was to find it out, we should all have our heads cut off, you know. So you see. Miss, we're doing our best, afore she comes, to — " At this moment Five, who had been anxiously looking across the gar- den, called out " The Queen ! The Queen ! " and the thi-ee gardeners instantly threw themselves flat upon their faces. There was a sound of many footsteps, and Alice looked round, eager to see the Queen. First came ten soldiers carrying clubs; these were all shaped like the three gardeners, oblong and flat, with their hands and feet at the cor- ners: next the ten courtiers; these were orna- mented ail over with diamonds, and walked two CROQUET-GROUND. 115 and two, as the soldiers did. After these came the royal children; there were ten of them, and the little dears came jumping merrily along hand in hand, in couples: they were all orna- mented with hearts. 'Next came the guests, mostly Kings and Queens, and among them Alice recognized the White Rabbit: it was talk- ing in a hurried nervous manner, smiling at everything that was said, and went by without noticing her. Then followed the Knave of Hearts, carrying the King's crown on a crimson velvet cushion; and, last of all this grand pro- cession, came THE KING AND QUEEN OF HEAETS. Alice was rathei^ doubtful whether she ought not to lie down on her face like the three gardeners, but she could not remember ever having heard of such a rule at processions; ^"^and besides, what would be the use of a procession," she thought, " if people had all to lie down on their faces, so that they couldn't see it.^" So she stood Avhere she was, and waited. 1 16 THE QUEEN'S When the procession came opposite to AUce, they all stopped and looked at her, and the Queen said severely, "Who is this?" She said it to the Knave of Hearts, who only bowed and smiled in reply. "Idiot!" said the Queen, tossing her head hnpatiently; and, turning to Alice, she went on, "What's your name, child?" "My name is Alice, so please your Majesty," said Alice very politely; but she added, to herself, "Why, they're only a pack of cards, after ail. I needn't be afraid of them!" "And who are these? ^^ said the Queen, point- ing to the three gardeners who w^ere lying round the rose-tree; for you see, as they were lying oii their faces, and the pattern on their backs was the same as the rest of the pack, she coidd not tell whether ^hey w^ere gardeners, or soldiers, or courtiers, or three of her own children. "How should /know?" said Ahce, surprised at her own courage. " It's no business of mme." CROQUET-GROUXn. 117 The Queen turned crimson with fury, and, after glaring at her for a moment like a wild beast, began screaming, " OflP with her head ! Off— '^ 118 THE QUEEN'S " Nonsense ! " said Alice, very loudly and decidedly, and the Queen was silent. The King laid his hand n2)on her arm, and timidly said, " Consider, my dear : she is only a child!" The Queen turned angi'ily away from him, and said to the Knave, ^- Turn them over!" The Knave did so, very carefully, with one foot. " Get up ! " said the Queen in a shrill, loud voice, and the three gardeners instantly jumped up, and began bowing to the King, the Queen, the royal children, and everybody else. " Leave off that! " screamed the Queen. " You make me giddy." And then, turning to the rose-tree, she went on, "What have you been doing here? '' "May it please your Majesty," said Two, in a very humble tone, going down on one knee as he spoke, "we were tr^dng — " " I see ! " said the Queen, who had mean- while been examining the roses. " Off with CROQUET-GROUND. 1 1 9 their heads ! " and the procession moved on, three of the soldiers remaining behind to execute the unfortunate gardeners, who ran to Ahce for protection. " You shan't be beheaded ! " said Alice, and she put them into a large flower-pot that stood near. The three soldiers wandered about for a minute or two, looking for them, and then quietly marched off after the others. "Are their heads off?" shouted the Queen. " Their heads are gone, if it please your Majesty!" the soldiers shouted in reply. "That's right!" shouted the Queen. "Can you play croquet?" The soldiers were silent, and looked at Alice, as the question was evidently meant for her. " Yes ! " shouted Alice. " Come on then ! " roared the Queen, and Alice joined the procession, wondering very much what would happen next. "It's — it's a very fine day!" said a timid voice at her side. She was walking by the White 120 THE QUEEN'S Rabbit, who was peeping anxiously into hei face. "Very," said Alice: — "where's the Duchess?" "Hush! Hush!" said the Eabbit in a low, hurried tone. He looked anxiously over his shoulder as he spoke, and then raised himself upon tiptoe, put his mouth close to her ear, and whispered, "She's under sentence of execution." "AYhat for?" said Alice. "Did you say 'What a pity!'?" the Rabbit asked. "Xo, I didn't," said Alice: "I don't think it's at all a pity. I said 'What for?'" " She boxed the Queen's ears — " the Rabbit began. Alice gave a little scream of laughter. " Oh, hush ! " the Rabbit whispered in a frightened tone. " The Queen will hear you ! You see she came rather late, and the Queen said — " " Get to your places ! " shouted the Queen in a voice of thunder, and ])eople began running about in all directions, tumbling up against each other: however, they got settled down in •^ minute oi' two. and the game began. CROQUET-GROUND. 121 Alice thought she had never seen such a curious croquet-ground in her hfe : it was all ridges and furrows; the croquet-balls were live hedgehogs, and the mallets live flamingoes, and the soldiei-s had to double themselves up and stand on their hands and feet, to make the arches. The chief diffi- culty Alice found at first was in managing her flamingo : she succeeded in getting its body tucked away, comfortably enough, under her arm, with its legs hanging down, but generally, just as she had got its neck nicely straightened out, and was going to give the hedgehog a blow with its head, it would twist itself round and look up into her face, with such a puzzled expres- 122 THE QUEEN'S sion that she could not help burstmg out laugh- mg: and when she had got its head down, and was going to begin again, it was very provoking to find that the hedgehog had unrolled itself, and w^as in the act of crawling away: besides all this, there was genei*ally a ridge or a furrow in the way wherever she wanted to send the hedgehog to, and, as the doubled-up soldiers were always getting up and walking off to other parts of the grouiid, Alice soon came to the conclusion that it was a very difficult game indeed. The players all played at once without wait- ing for turns, quarrelling all the while, and fighting for the hedgehogs; and in a very short time the Queen was in a furious passion, and went stamping about, and shouting, " Off* with his head ! " or " Off* with her head ! " about once in a minute, Alice began to feel very uneasy: to be sure, she had not as yet had any dispute with the Queen, but she knew that it might happen any minute, " and then," thought she, " what would CROQUET-GROUND. 123 become of me ? They're dreadfully fend of beheading people here : the great wonder isj that there's any one left alive ! " She was looking about for some way of escape, and wondering whether she could get away without beiug seen, when she noticed a curious appearance in the air: it puzzled her very much at first, but after watching it a minute or two she made it out to be a grin, and she said to her- self, "It's the Cheshire Cat: now I shall have somebody to talk to." " How are you getting on ? " said the Cat, as soon as there was mouth enough for it tc speak with. Alice waited till the eyes appeared, and then nodded. " It's no use speaking to it," she thought, " till its ears have come, or at least one of them." In another minute the whole head appeared, and then Alice put down her flamingo, and began an account of the game, feeling very glad she had some one to listen to her. The Cat seemed to think that there was a24 the QUEEN'S enough of it now in sight, and no more of k appeared. ^'1 don-t think they play at all fairly," Alice began, in rather a complaining tone, " and they all quarrel so dreadfully one can't hear one's-self speak — and they don't seem to have any rules in particular; at least, if there are, nobody attends to them — and you've no idea hoAV con- fusing it is all the things being alive; for in- stance, there's the arch I've got to go through next walking about at the other end of the ground — and I should have croqueted the Queen's hedgehog just now, only it ran away when it saw mine coming!" ^"How do you like the Queen?" said the Cat in a low voice. ^^ Not at all," said Alice: "she's so ex- tremely — " Just then she noticed that the Queen was close behind her, listening: so she went on " — likely to win, that it's hardly worth while finishing the game." The Queen smiled and passed on. CKOQUET-GROUND. 12 J ^^Who are you talldiig to?" said the King, coming up to Alice, and looking at the Cat's head with great curiosity. ^^It's a friend of mine — a Cheshire Cat," said Alice: ^^ allow me to introduce it.'' ^'I don't like the look of it at all," said the King: "however, it may kiss my hand if it likes." "I'd rather not," the Cat remarked. "Don't be impertinent," said the King, "and don't look at me like that ! " He got behind Alice as he spoke, "A cat may look at a king," said AlicCc "I've read that in some book, but I don't re- member where." "Well, it must be removed," said the King very decidedly, and he called to the Queen, w4io was passing at the moment, "My dear! I wish you would have this cat removed!" The Queen had only one way of settling all difficulties, great or small. " Off with his head I" she said without even lookino: round. 126 THE QUEEN'S "I'll fetch the executioner myself," said the King eagerly, and he hurried off. Alice thought she might as well go back and see how the game was going on, as she heard the Queen's voice in the distance, screaming with passion. She had already heard her sen- tence three of the players to be executed for having missed their turns, and she did not like the look of things at all, as the game was in such confusion that she never knew whether it was her turn or not. So she w^ent off in search of her hedgehog. The hedgehog was engaged in a fight with another hedgehog, which seemed to Ahce an excellent opportunity for ci-oqueting one of them with the other: the only difficulty was, that her flamingo was gone across to the other side of the garden, where Alice could see it trying m a helpless sort of way to fly up into a tree. By the time she had caught the flamingo and brought it back, the fight was over, and both the hedgehogs were out of sight: '^but it GSOQUET-GKOUNB. 127 doesn't matter much," thought Alice, " as all the arches are gone from this side of the ground." So she tucked it away under her arm, that it might not escape again, and went back to have a little more conversation with her friend. When she got back to the Cheshire Cat, she was surprised to find quite a large crowd col- lected round it: there was a dispute going on between the executioner, the King, and the Queen, who were all talking at once, wdiile all the rest were quite silent, and looked very uncomfortable. The moment Alice appeared, she was ap- pealed to by all three to settle the question, and they repeated their arguments to her, though, as they all spoke at once, she found it very hard to make out exactly what they said. The executioner's argument was, that you couldn't cut off a head unless there was a body to cut it off from: that he had never had to do such a thing before, and he wasn't going to begin at Jiis time of life. 128 THE QUEEN'S ^^-^^3ra^:ii.-^^,) The King's argument was, that anything that had a head could be beheaded, and that you weren't to talk nonsense. The Queen's argument was, that if some- thing wasn't done about it in less than no time, she'd have everybody executed, all round. (It CROQUET-GROUND. 129 was this last remark that had made the whole party look so grave and anxious.) Alice could think of nothing else to say but ^^It belongs to the Duchess: you'd better ask her about it," " She's in prison," the Queen said to the exe- cutioner: "fetch her here." And the execu- tioner went off like an arrow. The Cat's head began fading away the mo- ment he was gone, and, by the time he had come back with the Duchess, it had entirely disap- peared: so the King and the executioner ran wildly up and down looking for it, while the rest of the pariy went bacK to the game. CHAPTEE IX. THE MOCK turtle's STORY. ^^ You can't think how glad I am to see you again, you dear old thing!" said the Duchess, as she tucked her arm affectionately into Alice's, and they walked off together. Alice was very glad to find her in such a pleasant temper, and thought to herself that perhaps it was only the pepper that had made her so savage when they met in the kitchen. ^^ When I^m a Duchess," she said to herself, (not in a very hopeful tone though,) " I Avon't have any pepper in my kitchen at all. Soup does THE MOCK TURTLE'S STORY. 131 very well without — Maybe it's always pepper that makes people hot-tempered," she went on, very much pleased at having found out a new kind of rule, " and vinegar that makes them sour — and camomile that makes them bitter — and — and barley-sugar and such things that make children sweet-tempered. I only wish people knew that: then they wouldn't be so stingy about it, you know — " She had quite forgotten the Duchess by this time, and was a little startled when she heard her voice close to her ear. "You're thinking about something, my dear, and that makes you forget to talk. I can't tell you just now what the moral of that is, but I shall remember it in a bit." "Perhaps it hasn't one," Alice ventured to remark. " Tut, tut, child ! " said the Duchess. " Every- thing's got a moral, if only you can find it." And she squeezed herself up closer to Alice's side as she spoke. 132 THE MOCK Alice did not much like her keeping so close to her : first, because the Duchess Avas very ugly, and secondly, because she was exactly the right height to rest her chin on Alice^s shoulder, and it was an uncomfortably sharp chin. How- evei', she did not like to be rude, so she bore it as well as she could. " The game's going on rather better now," she said by way of keeping up the conversation a little. "'Tis so," said the Duchess: "and the moral of that is — 'Oh, 'tis love, 'tis love, that makes the woi'ld go round!'" "Somebody said," Alice whispered, "that it's done by everybody minding their ow^n business! " TURTLE'S STCRY. 133 ^^ Ah, well! It means much the same thing," said the Duehess, digging her sharp little chin into Alice's shoulder as she added, " and the moral of tJiat is — ^ Take care of the sense, and the sounds will take care of themselves.'" ^^How fond she is of finding morals in things ! " Alice thought to herself. "I daresay you're wondering why I don't put my arm round your waist," said the Duchess after a pause: "the reason is, that I'm doubt- ful about the temper of your flamingo. Shall I try the experiment?" "He might bite," Alice cautiously replied, not feeling at all anxious to have the experi- ment tried. "Very true," said the Duchess: "flamingoes and mustard both bite. And the moral of that is — ^ Birds of a feather flock together.'" "Only mustard isn't a bird," Alice remarkedo "Right, as usual," said the Duchess: "what a clear way you have of putting things ! " "It's a mineral, I think,^^ said Alice. 134 THE MOCK "Of course it is," said the Duchess, who seemed ready to agree to everything that AUce said; "there's a large mustard-mine near here. And the moral of that is — ^The more there is of mine, the less there is of youi's.' " " Oh, I know ! " exclaimed Alice, who had not attended to this last remark, " it's a vegetable. It doesn't look like one, but it is." "I quite agree with you," said the Duchess, "and the moral of that is — "^Be what you would seem to be' — or, if you'd like it put more simply — ^^ever imagine yourself not to be otherwise than what it might appear to others that what you were or might have been was not otherwise than what you had been would have appeared to them to be otherwise.' " "I think I should understand that better," Alice said very politely, "if I had it written down: but I can't quite follow it as you say it." " That's nothing to what I could say if I chose," the Duchess replied in a pleased tone. TURTLE'S STORY. 135 "Pray don't trouble yourself to say it any longer than that," said Alice. "Oh, don't talk about trouble!" said the Duchess. "I make you a jjresent of every- thing I've said as yet." "A cheap sort of present!" thought Alice. "I'm glad they don't give birthday presents like that!" But she did not venture to say it out loud. "Thinking again?" the Duchess asked, with another dig of her sharp little chin. "I've a right to think," said Alice sharply, for she was beginning to feel a little worried. " Just about as much right," said the Duchess, "as i^igs have to fly: and the m — " But here, to Alice's great surprise, the Duchess' voice died away, even in the middle of her favorite word ^ moral,' and the arm that was linked into hers began to tremble. Alice looked up, and there stood the Queen in front of them, with her arms folded, frowning like a thunderstorm. 136 THE MOCK ^^A fine day, your Majesty!" the Duchess began in a low, weak voice. " IS'ow, I give you fair warning," shouted the Queen, stamping on the ground as she spoke; " either you or your head must be off, and that in about half no time! Take your choice!" The Duchess took her choice, and was gone in a moment, "Let's go on with the game," the Queen said to Alice, and Alice was too much frightened to say a word, but slowly followed her back to the croquet-ground. The other guests had taken advantage of the Queen's absence, and were resting in the shade: however, the moment they saw hei', they huri'ied back to the game, the Queen merely remarking that a moment's delay would cost them their lives. All the time they were playing the Queen never left off quarrelling with the other players^, and shouting "Off with his head!" or "Off with her head ! " Those whom she sentenced TURTLE'S STORY. 13? were taken into custody by the soldiers, who of course had to leave off being arches to do this, so that by the end of half an hour or so there were no arches left, and all the players, except the King, the Queen, and Alice, were in custody, and under sentence of execution. Then the Queen left off, quite out of breath, and said to Alice, "Have you seen the Mock Turtle yet?" " 1^0," said Alice. " I don't even know what a Mock Turtle is." "It's the thing Mock Turtle Soup is made from," said the Queen. " I never saw one, or heard of one," said Alice. " Come on, then," said the Queen, " and he shall tell you his history." As they walked off together, Alice heard the King say in a low voice, to the company gener- ally, " You are all pardoned." " Come, tliafs a good thing!" she said to herself, for she had felt quite unhappy at the number of executions the Queen had ordered. 138 THE MOCK They very soon came upon a Gryphon, lying fast asleep in the sun. (If you don't know what a Gryphon is, look at the picture.) " Up, lazy thing ! " said the Queen, " and take this young lady to see the Mock Turtle, and to hear his history, I must go back and see after some executions I have ordered;" and she walked off^ leaving Alice alone with the Gryphon. Alice did not quite like the look of the creature, but on the whole she thought it would be quite as TURTLE'S STORY. 130 safe to stay with it as to go after that savage Queen: so she waited. The Gryphon sat up and rubbed its eyes : then it watched the Queen till she was out of sight: then it chuckled. "What fun! " said the Gryphon, half to itself, half to Alice. "AVhat is the fun?" said Alice. " Why, s/ze," said the Gryphon. " It's all her fancy, that : they never executes nobody, you know. Come on ! " " Everybody says ^ come on ! ' here," thought Alice, as she went slowly after it : "I never was so ordered about before in all my life, never! " They had not gone far before they saw the Mock Turtle in the distance, sitting sad and lonely on a little ledge of rock, and, as they came nearer, Alice could hear him sighing as if his heart would break. She pitied him deeply. "What is his sorrow?" she asked the Gryphon^ and the Gryphon answered, very nearly in the same words as before, " It's all his fancy, that : he hasn't got no sorrow, you know. Come on! " i liO THE MOCK ' So they went up to the Mock Turtle^ who \ looked at them with large eyes full of teai'Sc i but said nothing. ; " This here young lady," said the Gryphon, ] "she wants for to know your history, she do." \ "I'll tell it her," said the Mock Turtle in a deep, hollow tone: "sit down both of you, and don't speak a word till I'v^e finished." ' So they sat down, and nobody spoke for some ' minutes. Alice thought to herself, " I don't see \ how he can eve?^ finish, if he doesn't begin." ' But she waited patiently. j 1 "Once," said the Mock Turtle at last, with ! a deep sigh, " I was a real Turtle." i These words were followed by a very long silence, broken only by an occasional exclama- tion of "Hjckrrh!" from the Gryphon, and the i constant heavy sobl)ing of the Mock Turtle. | Alice Avas very nearly getting up and saying, " Thank you, sir, for your interesting story," j but she could not help thinking there must be I more to come, so she sat still and said nothing. i TURTLE'S STORY. 141 "When we were little," the Mock Turtle went on at last, more calmly, though still sob- bing a little now and then, " we went to school in the sea. The master was an old Turtle — - we used to call him Tortoise — " 142 THE MOCK " Why did you call him Tortoise, if he wasn't one?" Alice asked. "We called him Tortoise because he taught us," said the Mock Turtle angrily; "really you are very dull ! " ^'You ought to be ashamed of yourself for asking such a simple question," added the Gryphon; and then they both sat silent and looked at poor Alice, who felt ready to sink into the earth. At last the Gryphon said to the Mock Turtle, " Drive on, old fellow! Don't be all day about it!" and he went on in these words. "Yes, we went to school in the sea, though you mayn't believe it — '^ " I never said I didn't ! '^ interrupted Alice. "You did," said the Mock Turtle. "Hold your tongue!" added the Gryphon, before Alice could speak again. The Mock Turtle went on. " We had the best of educations — in fact^ we went to school every day — " TURTLE'S STORr. 143 ^^ Tve been to a day-school too," said Alice; '^you needn't be so proud as all that." "With extras?" asked the Mock Turtle a little anxiously. "Yes," said Alice, "we learned French and music." " And washing ? " said the Mock Turtle. " Certainly not ! " said Alice indignantly. " Ah ! Then yours wasn't a really good school," said the Mock Turtle in a tone of great relief. "I^ow at OUTS they had at the end of the bill, ^French, music, and washing — extra.*" "You couldn't have wanted it much," said Alice; "living at the bottom of the sea." " I couldn't afford to learn it," said the Mock Turtle with a sigh. "I only took the regular course." "What was that?" enquired Alice. "Reeling and Writhing, of course, to begin with," the Mock Turtle repHed : " and then the different branches of Arithmetic — Ambition, Dis° traction, Uglification, and Derision." H4 THE MOCK ^^ I never heard of ^ Uglification.' " Alice ven- tured to say. " What is it ? " The Gryphon hfted up both its paAvs in sur- prise. " ^ever heard of uglifying ! " it exclaimed. " You know what to beautify is, I suppose ? " ^^Yes," said Alice, doubtfully: "it means — to — make — anything — prettier." '■ Well then," the Gryphon went on, " if you don't know what to uglify is, you are a simpleton." Alice did not feel encouraged to ask any more questions about it, so she turned to the Mock Turtle, and said, " What else had you to learn ? " " Well, there was Mystery," the Mock Turtle replied, counting off the subjects on his flappers, — "Mystery, ancient and modern, with Seaography: then Drawling — the Drawling-master was an old conger-eel, that used to come once a Aveek: lie taught us Drawling, Stretching, and Fainting in Coils." " What was tliat like ? " said Alice. TURTLE'S STORY. 145 ^^ Well, I can't show it you, myself," the Mock Turtle said: "I'm too stiff. And the Gryphon never learnt it." " Hadn't time," said the Gryphon : " I went to the Classical master, though. He was an old crab, he was." ^^I never went to him," the Mock Turtle said with a sigh: "he taught Laughing and Grief, they used to say." " So he did, so he did," said the Gryphon, sighing in his turn, and both creatures hid their faces in their paws. "And how many hours a day did you do lessons ? " said Alice, in a hurry to change the subject. "Ten hours the first day," said the Mock Turtle: "nine the next, and so on." "What a curious plan! " exclaimed Alice. "That's the reason they're called lessons,'' the Gryphon remarked: "because they lessen from day to day." This was quite a new idea to Alice, and she 10 146 THE MOCK TURTLE'S STORY. thought it over a little before she made her next remark. " Then the eleventh day must have been a holiday?" " Of course it was," said the Mock Turtle. " And how did you manage on the twelfth ? " Alice went on eagei-ly. " That's enough about lessons," the Gryphon interrupted in a very decided tone: "tell her something about the games now." CHAPTEK X. THE LOBSTER QUADRILLE. The Mock Tuille sighed deejDly, and drew the back of one flapper aci-oss his eyes. He looked at Alice and tried to speak, but for a mmute or two sobs choked his vuice. "Same as if he had a bone in his throat," said the Gryphon, and it set to work shaking him and punching him in the back. At last the Mock Turtle recovered his voice, and, with tears running down his cheeks, he went on again: — "You may not have hved much under the sea — " (" I haven't," said Alice) — " and perhaps you were never even introduced to a lobster — " 148 THE LOBSTER (Alice began to say ^^I once tasted — " but checked herself hastily, and said, "No, never") — - "so yon can have no idea what a delightful thing a Lobster-Quadrille is! " " No, indeed," said Alice. " "What sort of a dance is it?" "Why," said the Gryphon, "you first form into a line along tne seashore — " " Two lines ! " cried the Mock Turtle, " Seals, turtles, salmon, and so on: then, when you've cleared all the jelly-fish out of the way — " " That generally takes some time," mter- rupted the Gryphon. " — you advance twice — " "Each with a lobster as a partner!" cried the Gryphon. " Of course," the Mock Turtle said : " advance twice, set to partners — " " — change lobsters, and retire in same order," continued the Gryphon. "Then, you know," the Mock Turtle went on, "you throw the — " QUADRILLE. 149 ^^ The lobsters ! " shouted the Gryphon, with a bound mto the ah*. " — as far out to sea as you can — " " Swhii after them ! " screamed the Gryphon. " Turn a somersault in the sea ! " cried the Mock Turtle, capering wildly about. " Change lobsters again ! " yelled the Gryphon at the top of its voice. " Back to land again, and — that's all the first figure," said the Mock Turtle, suddenly dropping his voice, and the two creatures, who had been jumping about like mad things all this time, sat down again very sadly and quietly, and looked at Alice. " It must be a very pretty dance," said Alice timidly. "Would you like to see a little of it?" said the Mock Turtle. "Very much indeed," said Alice. "Come, let's try the first figure!" said the Mock Turtle to the Gryphon. "We can do it without lobsters, you know. W^hich shall sing?" VjO THE LOBSTER " Oh, you sing," said the Gryphon. " I've forgotten the words." So they began solemnly dancing ronnd and round Alice, every now and then treading on her toes when they passed too close, and waving their fore-paws to mark the time, while the Mock Turtle sang this, very slowly and sadly: — - QUADRILLE. 151 '. \ *^Will you walk a little faster T"* said a whiting to a snail, ^^There^s a porjjoise close behind us, and he's treading on my tail. ] See how eagerly the lobsters and the turtles all advance! \ They are waiting on the shingle — will you come and join the dance ? Will you, woiTbt you, will you, wonH you, will you join the dance 9 : Will you, won't you, will you, woyiHt you, wonH you \ join the dance? \ " You cayi really have no notion how delightful it will < be \ When they talce us up and throw us, with the lobsters, ] out to seal j But the snail replied " Too far, too far!''' and gave a looJc askance — ! 8aid lie tJianked the whiting kindly, but he would not ] join tlie dance. \ Would not, could not, ivould not, could not, would not join the dance. Would not, could not, would not, could not, could not join the dance. 152 THE LOBSTER " What matters it how far ice go ? " his scaly frienA replied, ^^ There is another shore, you know, upon the other side. The further off from England the nearer is to France; Then tu7m not pale, beloved snail, but come and join the dance. Will you, won't you, will you, woril you, "mil you join the danced Will you, 100)1 1 you, will you, won't you, wovHt you join the dance?" " Thank you, it's a very interesting dance to watch," said AHce, feeUng very glad that it was over at last ; " and I do so like that curioD.s song about the whiting!" "Oh, as to the whiting," said the Mock Turtle, "they — you've seen them, of course?'^ "Yes," said Alice, "I've often seen them at dinn — '^ she checked herself hastily. " I don't know where Dinn may be," said the Mock Turtle, " but if you've seen them m oiten, of course you know what they're like." " I believe so," Alice replied thoughtfully QUADRILLE. 153 ^^ They have their tails in their mouths ; — and they're all over crumbs." "You're wrong about the crumbs," said the Mock Turtle : " crumbs would all wash off in the sea. But they have their tails in their mouths; and the reason is — " here the Mock Turtle yawned and shut his eyes. — "Tell her about the reason and all that," he said to the Gryphon. " The reason is," said the Gryphon, " that they ivould go with the lobsters to the dance. So they got thrown out to sea. So they had to fall a long way. So they got their tails fast in their mouths. So they couldn't get them out again. That's all." "Thank you," said Alice, "it's very interest- ing. I never knew so much about a whiting before." "I can tell you more than that, if you like," said the Gryphon. "Do you know why it's called a whiting?" "I never thought about it," said Alice. 154 THE LOBSTER ^"^ It does the hoots mid shoes,'^^ the Gryphon replied very solemnly. Alice was thoroughly puzzlecL "Does the boots and shoes ! " she repeated in a wonder- ing tone. " Why, what are your shoes done with ? " said the Gryphon. "I mean, what makes them so shiny?" Alice looked down at them, and considered a little before she gave her answer, " They're done with blacking, I believe." "Boots and shoes under the sea," the Gry- phon went on in a deep voice, " are done with whiting. !N^ow you know." "And what are they made of?" Alice asked in a tone of great curiosity. "Soles and eels, of course," the Gryphon replied rather imiDatiently : " any shrimp could have told you that." "If I'd been the whiting," said Alice, whose thoughts were still running on the song, "I'd have said to the porpoise, ^Keep back, please: we don't want vou with usl'" QUADRILLE. 155 " They were obliged to have him with them," the Mock Turtle said: "no wise fish would go anywhere without a porpoise." "Wouldn't it really?" said Ahce in a tone of great surprise. "Of course not," said the Mock Turtle: "why, if a fish came to me^ and told me he was going a journey, I should say ^ With what Dorpoise ? ' " " Don't you mean ^ purpose ? ' " said Alice. "I mean what I say," the Mock Turtle re- plied in an offended tone. And the Gryphon added " Come, let's hear some of your adven- tures." " I could tell you my adventures — beginning from this monung," said Alice a little timidly: "but it's no use going back to yesterday, because I was a different person then." "Explain all that," said the Mock Turtle. " No, no ! the adventures first," said the Gryphon in an impatient tone: "explanations take such a dreadful time." 156 THE LOBSTER So Alice began telling them her adventures from the time when she first saw the White Rabbit: she was a little nervous about it just at first, the two creatures got so close to her, one on each side, and opened their eyes and mouths so very w-ide, but she gained courage as she went on. Hei* hsteners were perfectly quiet till she got to the part about her repeating " You are old, Father William^'' to the Cater- pillar, and the v/ords all coming different, and then the Mock Turtle drew a long breath, and said, " That's very curious." "It's all about as curious as it can be," said the Grj^phon. "It all came different!" the Mock Turtle repeated thoughtfully. "I should like to hear her tiy and repeat something now. Tell her to begin." He looked at the Gryphon as if he thought it had some kind of authority over Alice. "Stand up and repeat "^^Tis the voice of the %liiggardP^ said the Gryphon. QUADRILLE. 157 ^^ How the creatures order one about, and make one repeat les- sons ! "thought Alice. " I might just as well be at school at once." However, she got up, i^\^^ and began to repeat 'jlj^y it, but her head was so full of the Lob- ster-Quadrille, that she hardly knew what she was saying, and the words came very ^g queer indeed: — "'T/s the voice of the lobster; I heard him declare, ' You have baked me too brown, I must sugar my hair} As a duck lolth its eyelids , so he with his nose Trims his belt and his buttons^ and turns out his toes J " That's different from what I used to saj? when I was a child," said the Gryphon. 108 THE LOBSTEB ^^ Well, I never heard it before," said the Mock Turtle ; " but it sounds uncommon nonsense." Alice said nothing: she had sat down again with her face in her hands, wondering if any- thing would ever happen in a natural way again. "I should like to have it explained," said the Mock Turtle. "She can't explain it," said the Gryphon hastily. " Go on with the next verse." "But about his toes?" the Mock Turtle persisted. " How could he turn them out with his nose, you know?" "It's the first position in dancing," Alice said; but she was dreadfully puzzled by the whole thing, and longed to change the subject. "Go on with the next verse," the Gryphon repeated impatiently: "it begins "^ I jyassed hy his garden.'' '^'^ Alice did not dare to disobey, though she felt sure it would all come wrong, and she went on in a tromblin«y voice : — QUADRILLE. 159 *^ I passed by his garden^ and marked, with one eye. How the owl and the oyster were sharing the pie — - " ^^ What is the use of repeating all that stuff," the Mock Turtle interrupted, " if you don't ex- plain it as you go on? It's by far the most con- fusing thing I ever heard ! " "Yes, I think you'd better leave off," said the Gryphon, and Alice was only too glad to do so. " Shall we try another figure of the Lobster- Quadrille?" the Gryphon went on. '-Or would you like the Mock Turtle to sing you a song? " "Oh, a song, please, if the Mock Turtle would be so kind," Alice replied, so eagerly that the Gryphon said, in a rather offended tone, "Hm! ]S'o accounting for tastes! Sing her "^Turtle Soup,'' Avill you, old fellow?" The Mock Turtle sighed deeply, and began, in a voice sometimes choked with sobs, to sing this : — 100 THE LOBSTER "^ Beautiful Soiqj, so rich and green. Waiting in a hot tureen! Who for such dainties would not stoop f Soup of the evening, beautiful Soup! Soup of the evening, beautiful Soup! Beau — ootiful Soo — oop! Beau — ootiful Soo — oop! Soo — 00]) of the e — e — evening. Beautiful, beautiful Soup! ^Beautiful Soup! Who cares for fish c> Game, or any otJier dish? Who would not give all else for tioo p ennywortli only of beautiful Soup? Pennyworth only of beautiful Soup? Beau — ootiful Soo — oop! Beau — ootiful Soo — oop! Soo — ooj) of the e — e — evening. Beautiful, beauti—FUL SOUP!'' ^^ Chorus again!" cried the Gryphon, and the Mock Turtle had just begun to repeat it, when QUADRILLE. l6l a cry of " The trial's beginning ! " was heard in the distance. " Come on ! " cried the Gryphon, and, taking Alice by the hand, it hurried off, without wait- ing for the end of the song. "What trial is it?" Alice j3anted as she ran, but the Gryphon only answered " Come on ! " and ran the faster, while more and more faintly came, carried on the breeze tnat followed them, the melancholy words : — " /boo — oop of the e — e — evening^ Beautiful i beautiful Soup f^ CHAP TEE XL WHO STOLE THE TARTS £* The King and Queen of Hearts were seated on their throne when thej ari-ived, with a great crowd assembled about them — all sorts of little birds and beasts, as we!^ as the whole pack of cards: the Knave was standing before them, in chains, with a soldier on each side to guard him; and near the King was the White Rabbit, with a trumpet in one hand, and a scroll of parchment in the other. In the very middle of the court was a table, with a large dish of WHO STOLE THE TARTS? 163 tarts upon it: they looked so good, that it made Alice quite hungry to look at them — "I wish they'd get the trial done," she thought, "and hand round the refreshments! " But there seemed to be no chance of this, so she began looking at everything about her to pass away the time. Alice had never been in a court of justice before, but she had read about them in books, and she was quite pleased to find that she knew the name of nearly everything there. " That's the judge," she said to herself, " because of his great wig." The judge, by the way, was the King, and as he wore his crown over the wig, (look at the frontispiece if you want to see how he did it,) he did not look at all comfortable, and it was certainly not becoming. "And that's the jury-box," thought Alice, " and those twelve creatures," (she was obliged to say " creatures," you see, because some of them were animals, and some were birds,) "T 164 WHO STOLE suppose they are the jurors." She said this last word two or three times over to herself, being rather proud of it: for she thought, and rightly too, that very few little girls of her age knew the meaning of it at all. However, "jury- men" would have done just as well. The twelve jurors were all writing very busily on slates. "What are they doing?" Alice whispered to the Gryphon. " They can't have anything to put down yet, before the trial's begun." " They're putting down their names," the Gryphon whispered in reply, "for fear they should forget them before the end of the trial." " Stupid things ! " Alice began in a loud indignant voice, but she stopped herself hastily, for the White Rabbit cried out, " Silence in the court ! " and the King put on his spectacles and looked anxiously round, to make out who was talking. Alice could see, as well as if she were look- ing over their shoulders, that all the jurors were THE TARTS? 165 writing down " stupid things ! " on their slates, and she could even make out that one of them didn't know how to spell ^^ stupid," and that he had to ask his neighbor to tell him. "A nice muddle their slates '11 be in before the trial's over!" thought Alice. One of the jurors had a pencil that squeaked. This, of course, Alice could not stand, and she went round the court and got behind him, and very soon found an opportunity of taking it away. She did it so quickly that the poor little juror (it was Bill, the Lizard) could not make out at all what had become of it; so, after hunting all about for it, he was obliged to write with one finger for the rest of the day; and this was of very little use, as it left no mark on the slate. " Herald, read the accusation ! " said the King. On this the White Eabbit blew three blasts on the trumpet, and then unrolled the parch- ment scroll, and read as follows : — 166 WHO STOLE ^Tffit0ifrn^- The Queen of Hearts^ she made some tartS', All on a summer day : The ITnave of Hearts, he stole those fartSf And toolc them quite aivay!^^ ^^ Consider your verdict," the King said to -j the jury. 'i THE TARTS? 167 "^'ot yet, not yet!" the Rabbit hastily in- terrupted. " There's a great deal to come before that!" "Call the first witness," said the King; and the White Rabbit blew three blasts on the trumpet, and called out, " First witness ! " The first witness was the Hatter. He came in with a teacup in one hand, and a piece of bread-and-butter in the other. "I beg pardon, your Majesty," he began, "for bringing these in: but I hadn't quite finished my tea when I was sent for." " You ought to have finished," said the King. ""When did you begin?" The Hatter looked at the March Hare, who had followed him into the court, arm-in-arm with the Dormouse. "Fourteenth of March, I think it was," he said. "Fifteenth," said the March Hare. , " Sixteenth," added the Dormouse. "Write that down," the King said to the jury, and the jury eagerly wrote down all three 168 WHO STOLE dates on their slates, and then added them up, and reduced the answer to shilUngs and pence. "Take off your hat," the King said to the Hatter, "It isn't mine," said the Hatter. ^^ Stolen !^'^ the King exclaimed, turning to the jury, who instantly made a memorandum of the fact. "I keep them to sell," the Hatter added as an explanation: "I've none of my own. I'm a hatter." Here the Queen put on her spectacles, and began staring hard at the Hatter, who turned pale and fidgeted. "Give your evidence," said the King; "and don't be nervous, or I'll have you executed on the spot." This did not seem to encourage the witness at all: he kept shifting from one foot to the other, looking uneasily at the Queen, and in his confusion he bit a large piece out of his teacup instead of the bread-and-butter. THE TARTS? 169 Just at this moment Alice felt a very curious sensation, which puzzled her a good deal until she made out what it was: she was beginning to groN larger again, and she thought at first she would get up and leave the court; but on second thoughts she decided to remain where she was as long as there was room for her. "I wish you wouldn't squeeze so," said the Dormouse, who was sitting next to her. " I can hardly breathe." "I can't help it," said Alice very meekly: ^^ I'm growing." " You've no right to grow liere^^ said the Dormouse. " Don't talk nonsense," said Alice more boldly: ^^ you know you're growing too." " Yes, but I grow at a reasonable pace," said the Dormouse: "not in that ridiculous fashion." And he got up verj^ sulkily and crossed over to the other side of the court. All this time the Queen had never left off staring at the Hatter, and, just as the Dormouiiie 170 WHO STOLE crossed the court, she said to one of the officers of the court, " Bring me the Hst of the singers in the last concert! " on which the wretched Hatter trembled so, that he shook both his shoes off. " Give your evi- dence," the King re- peated angrily, " or I'll have you execu- ted, whether you're nervous or not." " I'm a poor man, your Majesty," the Hatter began in a trembling voice, " and I hadn't but just begun my tea — not above a week or so — and Avhat with the bread-and« butter getting so thin — and the twinkling of the tea — " ^^The twinkling of what?^^ said the King. ^^ It hegan with the tea," the Hatter replied. THE TARTS? 171 " Of course twinkling begins with a T ! " said the King sharply. ^^ Do you take me for a dunce ? Go on I " " I'm a poor man," the Hatter went on, ^^ and most things twinkled after that — only the March Hare said *" " I didn't ! " the March Hare interrupted in a great hurry, "You did!" said the Hatter. " I deny it ! " said the March Hare. "He denies it," said the King: "leave out that part." "Well, at any rate, the Dormouse said — " the Hatter went on, looking anxiously round to see if he would deny it too: but the Dormouse denied nothing, being fast asleep. "After that," continued the Hatter, "I cut some more bread-and-butter -" "But what did the Dormouse say?" one of the jury asked. " That I can't remember," said the Hatter. "You must remember," remarked the King, ^or I'll have vou executed." 172 WHO STOLE The miserable Hatter dropped his teacup and bread-and-butter, and went down on one kneeo "I'm a poor man, your Majesty," he began. "You're a very poor speaker,^^ said the King. Here one of the guinea-pigs cheered, and was immediately suppressed by the officers of the court. (As that is rather a hard word, I will just explain to you how it was done. They had a large canvass bag, which tied \\\) at the mouth with strings: into this they slipped the guinea- pig, head first, and then sat upon it.) "I'm glad I've seen that done," thought Alice. "I've so often read in the newspapers, at the end of trials, ^ There was some attempt at applause, which was immediately suppressed by the officers of the court,' and I never under- stood what it meant till now." "If that's all you know about it, you may stand down," continued the King. " I can't go no lower," said the Hatter : " I'm on the floor, as it is." THE TARTS? 173 " Then you may sit down," the King rephed. Here the other guinea-pig cheered, and was suppressed. " Come, that finishes the guinea-pigs ! " thought Ahce. " ]^ow we shall get on better." '^I'd rather finish my tea," said the Hatter, with an anxious look at the Queen, who was reading the list of singers. ^^ You may go," said the King, and the Hatter hurriedly left the court, without even waiting to put his shoes on, ^^ and just take his head ofi* outside," the 174 AVHO STOLE Queen added to one of the officers; but the Hatter was out of sight before the officer could get to the door. " Call the next witness ! " said the King. The next witness was the Duchess' cook. She carried the pepper-box in her hand; and Alice guessed who it was, even before she got into the court, by the way the people near the door began sneezing all at once. " Give your evidence," said the King. "Shan't," said the cook. The King looked anxiously at the "White Rabbit, who said in a low voice, " Your Majesty must cross-examine this witness." " Well, if I must, I must," the King said with a melancholy air, and, after folding his arms and frowning at the cook till his eyes were nearly out of sight, he said in a deep voice, " What are tarts made of ? " " Pepper, mostly," said the cook. " Treacle," said a sleepy voice behind her. " Collar that Dormouse ! " the Queen shrieked THE TARTS? 175 out. " Behead that Dormouse ! Turn that Dor- mouse out of court! Suppress him! Pinch him! Off with his whiskers ! " For some minutes the whole court was in confusion, getting the Dormouse turned out, and, by the time they had settled down again, the cook had disappeared. " INTever mind ! " said the King, with an air of great relief. " Call the next witness." And he added in an under-tone 1o the Queen, "Keally, my dear, you must cross-examine the next witness. It quite makes my forehead ache ! " Alice watched the White Rabbit as he fumbled over the list, feeling very cui-ious to see what the next witness would be like, " — for they haven't got much evidence yet^^^ she said to hei'self. Imagine her surprise, wiien the White Rabbit read out, at the top of his shrill little voice, the name " Alice ! " CHAPTEE Xn. Alice's evidence, " Here ! " cried Alice, quite forgetting in the fluny of the moment how large she had grown in the last few minutes, and she jumped up in such a hurry that she tipped over the jury-box with the edge of her skirt, upsetting all the jury- men on to the heads of the crowd below, and there they lay sprawling about, reminding her veiy much of a globe of gold-fish she had accidentally upset the week before. " Oh, I heg your pardon ! " she exclaimed in a tone of great dismay, and began picking them up again as quickly as she could, for the acci- ALICE'S EVIDENCE. 177 dent of the gold-fish kept running in her headj and she had a vague sort of idea that they must be collected at once and put back into the jury- box, or they would die. 12 178 ALICE'S EVIDENCE. " The trial cannot proceed," said the King in a very grave voice, "until all the jurymen are back in their proper places — a?Z," he repeated with great emphasis, looking hard at Alice as he said so. Alice looked at the jury-box, and saw that, in her haste, she had put the Lizard in head downwards, and the poor little thing was waving its tail about in a mehmcholy way, being quite unable to move. She soon got it out again, and put it right; "not that it signifies much," she said to herself; "I should think it would be quite as much use in the trial one way up as the other." As soon as the jury had a little recovered from the shock of being upset, and their slates and pencils had been found and handed back to them, they set to work very diligently to write out a history of the accident, all except the Lizard, who seemed too much overcome to do anything but sit with its mouth ojDcn, gazing up into the roof of the court. ALICE'S EVIDENCE. 179 "What do you know about this business ^ the King said to Alice. "Nothing," said AHce. "JN'othing ivliateverf'' persisted the King. "Nothing whatever," said AHce. " That's very important," the King said, turn- ing to the jury. They were just beginning to write this down on their shites, when the White Rabbit interrupted: " ^mmportant, your Majesty means, of course," he said in a very respectful tone, but frowning and making faces at him as he spoke. " r/mmportant, of course, I meant," the King hastily said, and went on to himself in an under- tone, " important — unimportant — unimportant — important " as if he were trying which word sounded best. Some of the jury wrote it down " important," and some " unimportant." Alice could see this, as she was near enough to look over their slates ; " but it doesn't matter a bit," she thought to herself. 180 ALICE'S EVIDENCE. At this moment the King, who had been for some time busily writing in his note-book, called out " Silence ! " and read out from his book, ^^ Rule Forty-two. All 2>ersons more than a mile high to leave the courtP Everybody looked at Alice. ^^ Vm not a mile high," said Alice. " You are," said the King. " Nearly two miles high," added the Queen. " Well, I shan't go, at any rate," said ^Vlice ; ^^ besides, that's not a regular rule : you invented it just now." "It's the oldest rule in the book," said the King. " Then it ought to be I*^umber One," said Alice. The King turned pale, and shut his note- book hastily. "Consider your verdict," he said to the jury, in a low trembling voice. " There's more evidence to come yet, please your Majesty," said the White Rabbit, jumping up in a great hurry; "this paper has just been picked up." ALICE'S EVIDENCE. 181 ^^ "What's ill it?" said the Queen. "I haveirt opened it yet," said the White Kabbit, '' but it seems to be a letter, written by the prisoner to — to somebody." "It must have been that," said the King, "unless it was written to nobody, which isn't usual, you know." "Who is it directed to?" said one of the jurymen. "It isn't directed at all," said the White Eabbit; "in fact, there's nothing written on the outside^ He unfolded the paper as he spoke, and added, "It isn't a letter after all: it's a set of verses." "Are they in the prisoner's handwriting?" asked another of the jurymen. "JS'o, they're not," said the White Rabbit, " and that's the queerest thing about it." (The jury all looked puzzled.) "He must have imitated somebody else's hand," said the King. . (The jury all brightened up again.) 182 ALICE'S EVIDENCE. "Please your Majesty," said the Knave, "I didn't write it, and they can't prove I did: there's no name signed at the end." " If you didn't sign it," said the Kmg, " that only makes the matter worse. You must have meant some mischief, or else you'd have signed your name like an honest man." There was a general clapping of hands at this: it was the first really clever thing the King had said that day. " That proves his guilt," said the Queen. "It proves nothing of the sort!" said Alice. "Why, you don't even know what they're about!" "Read them," said the King. The White Rabbit put on his spectacles. "Where shall I begin, please your Majesty?" he asked. "Begin at the beginning," the King said, gravely, " and go on till you come to the end : then stop." These were the verses the White Rabbit read : — ALICE'S EVIDENCE. 183 '^ They told me you had been to he?', And mentioned me to him: She gave me a good character. But said I could 7iot swim. He sent them word I had not gone ( We know it to he true) : If she should push the matter on. What would become of you? I gave her one, they gave him two. You gave us three or more; They all returned from him to you. Though they were mine before. If I or she should chance to be Involved in this affair. He trusts to you to set them free, Exactly as we were. 84 ALICE'S EVIDENCE. My notion ivas that you had been (^Before she had this Jit) An obstacle that came between Him, and ourselves, and it. DorUt let him know she liked them best. For this must ever be A. secret, kept from all the rest. Between yourself and me.'' " That's the most unportant piece of evidence we've heard yet," said the King, rubbing his hands; so now let the jury " ''"^f any one of them can explain it," said Alice, (she had grown so large in the last few minutes that she wasn't a bit afraid of interrupt- ing him,) " I'll give him sixpence. I don't believe there's an atom of meaning in it." The jury all wrote down on their slates, ">S'/26 doesn't believe there's an atom of meaning in ALICE'S EVIDENCE. 185 it," but none of them attempted to explain the paper. " If there's no meaning in it," said the King, ^^ that saves a world of trouble, you know, as we needn^t try to find any. And yet I don't know," he went on, spreading out the verses on his knee, and looking at them with one eye; ^^I seem to see some meaning in them, after all. ^ — said I could not swim — ' you can't swim, can you?" he added, turning to the Knave. The Knave shook his head sadly. ^^ Do I look like it?" he said. (Which he certainly did 7iot^ being made entirely of cardboard.) "All right, so far," said the King, and he went on muttering over the verses to himself: "^IFe hioiu it to he true—'' that's the jury, of coursp— ^ I gave lier one, they gave liim two — ' why, that must be what he did with the tarts, you know — " "But it goes on ^tliey all returned from Mm to you^ " said Alice. 186 ALICE'S EVIDENCE. " Why, there they are ! " said the King triumphantly, pointing to the tarts on the table. " Nothing can be clearer than that. Then again— ^ before she had this fit—^ you never had fits, my dear, I think? "he said to the Queen, " JSTever ! " said the Queen furiously, throw- ing an inkstand at the Lizard as she spoke. (The unfortunate Httle Bill had left off writing on his slate with one finger, as he found it made ALICE'S EVIDENCE. 187 110 mark; but he now hastily began again, using the ink, that was trickUng down his flice, as long as it hxsted.) " Then the words don't fit you," said the King, looking round the court with a smile. There was a dead silence. " It's a pun ! " the King added in an angry tone, and everybody laughed. "Let the jury consider their verdict," the King said, for about the twentieth time that day. "No, no!" said the Queen. "Sentence first — verdict afterwards." " Stuff and nonsense ! " said Alice loudly. " The idea of having the eentence first ! " "Hold your tongue!" said the Queen, turn- ing purple. " I won't ! " said Alice. "Off with her head!" th(> Queen shouted at the top of her voice. Nobody moved. " Who cares for you ? " said Alice, (she had grown to her full size by this ljm<?0 " You're nothing but a pack of cards!*' 188 ALICE'S EVIDENCE. At this the whole pack rose up into the air, and came flying down upon her; she gave a ALICE'S EVIDENCE. 189 fittle scream, half of fright and half of anger, and tried to beat them off, and found herself lying on the bank, with her head in the lap of her sister, who was gently brushing away some dead leaves that had fluttered down from the trees on to her face. " Wake np, Alice dear ! " said her sister ; *Svhy, what a long sleep you've had!" "Oh, I've had such a curious dream!" said Alice, and she told her sister, as well as she could remember them, all these strange Ad- ventures of hei's that you have just been read- mg about; and when she had finished, her sis- ter kissed her, and said, "It was a curious dream, dear, certainly: but now run in to your tea; it's getting late." So AHce got np and ran off, thinking while she ran, as well she might, what a wonderful dream it had been. 190 But her sister sat still just as she left her, leaning her head on her hand, watchhig the setting son, and thinking of little Alice and all her wonderful Adventures, till she too began dreaming after a fashion, and this was her dream : — First, she dreamed of little Alice herself: — once again the tiny hands were clasped upon her knee, and the bright eager eyes were look- ing up into hers — she could hear the very tones of her voice, and see that queer little toss of her head, to keep back the wandering hair that ivould always get into her eyes — and still as she listened, or seemed to listen, the whole place around her became alive with the strange creatures of her little sister's dream. 191 The long grass rustled at her feet as the White Rabbit hurried by — the frightened Mouse splashed his way through the neighboring pool — she could hear the rattle of the teacups as the March Hare and his friends shared their never-ending meal, and the shrill voice of the Queen ordering off her unfortunate guests to execution — once more the pig-baby was sneezing on the Duchess' knee, while plates and dishes crashed around it — once more the shriek of the Gryphon, the squeaking of the Lizard's slate- pencil, and the choking of the suppressed guinea- pigs, filled the air, mixed up with the distant sob of the miserable Mock Turtle. So she sat on, with closed eyes, and half believed herself in Wonderland, though she knew she had but to open them again and all would change to dull reality — the grass would be only rustling in the wind, and the pool rip- pling to the waving of the reeds — the rattling teacups would change to tinkling sheep-bells, and the Queen's shrill cries to the voice of the 192 Bhepherd boy — and the sneeze of the baby, the shriek of the Gryphon, and all the other queer noises, would change (she knew) to the con- fused clamor of the busy farm-yard — while the lowing of the cattle in the distance would take the place of the Mock Turtle's heavy sobs. Lastly, she pictui-ed to herself how this same little sister of hers would, in the after-time, be herself a grown Avoman; and how she would keep, through all her riper years, the simple and loving heart of her childhood: and how she would gather about her other little childi-en, and make their eyes bright and ea^-er with many a strange tale, perhaps even with the dream of Wonderland of long-ago: and how she would feel with all their simple sorrows, and find a pleasure in all their simple jo^^s, remembering her own chikl-life, and the happy summer days. THE END. MACMILLAN AND GO'S BOOKS FOR THE YOUNG. WORKS BY LEWIS CARROLL. One Hundredth Thousand. Alice's Adventures in Wonderland. With Forty two Illustrations by Tenniel. 12mo, cloth, gilt. Price, $1. " Lewis Carroll's immortal ^tox^ ^ —Academy . " That most delightful of children's stories."— /Sa(!«r^ay Review. " Elegant and delicious nonsense."— (xwarrfiaA/. Fiftieth Thousand. Through the Looking Glass and What Alice Found There. With Fifty Illustrations by Tenniel. 12uio, cloth, gilt. Price, $1. "Will fairly rank svith the tale of her previous experience. "—Z>a27y Telegraph. ''.Many of Mr. Tenniel's designs are masterpieces of wise absurdity."— J.<A^fl(jM;r2. "Whether as regarding author or illustrator, this book is a jewel rarely to be found nowadays.— £'c-/;o. " Not a whit inferior to its predecessor in grand extravagance of imagination, and delicious allegorical nonsense.''— Quar(e7i>/ Beview. Rhyme ? and Reason ? With Sixty-five Illustrations by Arthur B. Frost, and Mne by Henry Holiday. 12mo, $1.50. This book is a reprint, with additions, of the comic portions of "Phantasmagoria and other Poems," and of the "Hunting of the Snark." The above three volumes are also kept elegantly hound in extra cloth gilt, with gilt edges, in paper box. Price, $4.00. Alice's Adventures in Wonderland, and Through the Looking Glass and What Alice found There, with all theillu^^ trations. 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With Illustra- tions. 12mo. $1 75. BY CHARLOTTE M. YONGE. The Prince and the Page ; a Story of the Last Crusade. With Illustrations. 16 mo., cloth. $1.25. The Little Duke ; Eichard the Fearless. With Illustra- tions. 16mo., cloth. $1.25. Little Lucy's Wonderful Globe. With numerous illus* trations. 16mo, cloth. $1.25. Macmillan & Go's Catalogue, P's and Q's ; or, The Question of Putting Upon. With Illustrations. 16mo, cloth. $1.25. The Lances of Lynwood. With Illustrations. New edition. IGmo, cloth. $1.25. A Book of Golden Deeds of all Countries and all Times. 16mo, cloth $1.'J5. A Book of Worthies. 16mo, cloth. $1.25. The Story of the Christians and Moors of Spain. 16mo, cloth. $1.25 The above eight volumes, by Charlotte M. Yonge, can also be had together, uni- formly bound, iu paper box, price, ^7.50. Scripture Readings for Schools and Families. By Charlotte M. Yonge, Author of "The Heir of Redclyffe," with Comments. Five Tolumes, in paper box, $6.00. Each volume sold separately. First Series —Genesis to Deuteronomy. Second Series. — Joshua to Solomon. Third Series. — The Kings and the Prophets. Fourth Series. — The Gospel Times. Fifth Series. — Apostolic Times. Actual need has led the Author to endeavor to prepare a reading book convenient for study with children, containing the very words of the Bible, with only a few ex- pedient omissions, and arranged in lessons of such length as by experience she has found to suit with children's ordinarj' power of accurate, a'ttentive interest. The verse form has been retained because of its convenience for children reading in class, and as more resembling their Bibles : but the poetical portions have been given in their lines. Professor Huxlev, at a meeting of the London School Board, particularly mentioned the Selecticmmade by Miss Yonge as an example of how selections might be made for School reading. '• Her comments are modt-ls of their ]ni\(\.:'— Literal^ Chnrchman. The Adventures of a Brownie ; as Told to My Child. 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Uniformly printed in ISmo, with Vignette Titles by J. E. Millais^ r. WOOLNER, VV . HOLMAN HuNT, SiR NOEL PaTON, ArTHUR HuGHES, &c. Engraved on steel by Jeens. Bound in extra clotli, $1.25 each volume. " Also kej^t in half morocco and half calf bindings. "Messrs Macmilhin have, in their Golden Treasury Series, especially provided editions of standard works, volumes of selected poetry, and original compositions, which entitle this series to be called classical. Nothing can be Detter than the liter- ary execution, nothing more elegant than the material workmanship."— i^ri^2*Vi (Quarterly Review. THE GOLDEN TREASURY OF THE BEST SONGS AND LYRICAL POEMS IN THE ENGLISH LANGUAGE. Selected and arranged, with Xotes, by Francis Turner Pal- grave. THE CHILDREN'S GARLAND FROM THE BEST POETS. Selected and arranged by Coventry Patmore. THE BOOK OF PRAISE. From the best English Hymn Writers. Selected and arranged by Lord Selborne. A New and Enlarged Edition. 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"An admirable addition to an admirable series.'"— Westminster Eeview. A BOOK OF GOLDEN THOUGHTS. By Henry Attwell, Knight of the Order of the Oak Crown. "Mr. Attwell has produced a work of rare value . . .Happily it is small enough to be carried about in the pocket, and of such a companion it would be difficult ta wearj'."— Pa/^ Mall Gazette. GUESSES AT TRUTH. Bv Two Brothers. New edition. Golden Treasury Series. \\ THE CAVALIER AND HIS LADY. Selections from the Works of the First Duke and Duchess of Newcastle. With an Intro- ductory Essay by Edward Jenkins, M.P., Author of " Ginx'a Baby, ' &c "A charming little ^oXam^y— Standard. SCOTTISH SONG. A Selection of the Choicest Lyrics of Scotland. Compiled and arranged, with brief Notes, by Maky Carlyle AlTKEN. " The booli is one that should find a place in everj' librarj', we had almost said in every pocket."— *S;pfc^a to?-. DEUTSCHE LYRIK : The Golden Treasury of the best German Lyrical Poems. Selected and arranged, with Notes and Literary Introduction, by Dr. Buchheim. " A book wliich all lovers of German poetrj' will welcome."— IFe^^m/zs^er Jieview. HERRICK : Selections from the Lyrical Poems. Arranged, with Notes, by F. T. Palgrave. " For the first time the sweetest of English pastoral poets is placed within the range of the great world of readeni.'"— Academy. MATTHEW ARNOLD'S SELECTED POEMS. " A volume which is a thing of beanty in itself."— P«^^ Mall Gazette. THE STORY OF THE CHRISTIANS AND MOORS IN SPAIN. By C. M. Yonge. Author of the "Heir of Redclyffe." With Vignette by Holman Hunt. LAMB'S TALES FROM SHAKESPEARE. Edited by tne Rev. a. Aingeh, M.A., Reader at the Temple. POEMS OF WORDSWORTH. Chosen and Edited, with Pref- ace by Matthew Aknold. " A volume, every page of which is weighted with the golden fruit of poetry." —Pall Mall Gazette. " Except in producing original work of their own, men of genius, who are at once Soets and critics, can hardly do a greater service to the world than Mr. Swinburne has one in regard to Coleridge, and Mr. Arnold has done in regard to Wordsworth."— AthencRum. ?.HAKESPE ARE'S SONGS AND SONNETS. Edited by F. T. Palgrave. POEMS FROM SHELLEY. Selected and arranged by Stopfoed A. Brooke, M.A. " Pull of power and true appreciation of Shelley."— 5/jecta to/ tSSAYS OF JOSEPH ADDISON. Chosen and Edited by Jobs Richard Green, M.A., LL.D. "This Is a most welcome addition to a most excellent series."— J^aramin^r. 12 Macmillan & Go's Catalogue. POETRY OF BYRON. Chosen and arranged by Matthew Arnold "It is written in Mr. Arnold's neatest vein, and in Mr. Arnold's most pellucH manner. "—J-^Ae/^fewm. SELECTIONS FROM THE WRITINGS OF WALTER SAVAGE LAN DOR. Arranged and edited by Sidney Colvin. " In the attractive pages of the Golden Treasury Series, however, this noble mas- ter of English appeals to us with a new force. . . . There are some of his pro- ductions —pages, for example, of the Imaginary Conversations— which rank by com- mon consent with tlie most precious things of tlieir kind in English literature."— New York Tribune. THE SPEECHES AND TABLE TALK OF THE PROPHET MOHAMMAD. Chosen and translated, with Introductions and Notes, by Stanley Lane-Poole. "This pretty little volume deserves a warm welcome. Of course, it goes over much the same ground as Lane's Selections from the Koran, but it is far better adapted for the g'ueral public."— ^4;'Ae?i6e?/m. SIR THOMAS BROWNE'S RELIGIO MEDICI, Letters to a Friend, etc., and Christian Morals. Edited by W. A. Greenhill, M.D. Oxon. " Tills is the neatest and most accurate edition yet published of these fascinating vvorks; works, which disclose new beauties and charms on every fresh perusal." — American Literary Churchman. SELECTIONS FROM COWPER'S POEMS. With Introduc- tion by Mrs. Oliphant. "A beautiful little volume. The Selections are prefaced by a brief critical analy- sis of the poet's works, which shows sound judgment and a deep sympathy with their seutimeut."- ^o^toM Evening Transcript. SELECTIONS FROM COWPER'S LETTERS. Edited, with Introduction, by the Rev. W. Benham, B.D., Editor of the ''Globe Edition" of Cowper's Poetical Works. " We do not know any recent volume of the Series that should give more pleas* are, and less cause for criticism, than this.^''— Academy. THE POETICAL WORKS OF JOHN KEATS. Reprinted from the Original Editions,with Notes by Francis T. Palgrave. "The most attractive and convenient edition of these beautiful poems which we have seen."— Christian Union. SELECTIONS FROM THE POEMS OF LORD TENNY- SON. Edited with Notes by Francis Turner Palgrave. IN ME MORI AM. By Alfred, Lord Tennyson. THE TRIAL AND DEATH OF SOCRATES. Being the Euthyphron, Apology, Crito, and Phaedo of Plato. Translated into English by F. J. Church, M.A.